Do you think this is cruel?

[Amber]

I find that to be bit strange. But I really don't see it cruel. As for spanking, I agree with PCB. Their is a huge diffrerence between spanking and hitting/abuse. My parents spanked me when I was a child, with a wooden spoon (ouch! jk :P ) it taught me to NEVER do anything wrong again. So I think spanking is a good method if its used properly. You wouldn't want to go overboard with spanking.

[Tonya]

When Jaden was little, when he would do something that could hurt him, I would spank him. Like running in the street, touching the light sockets, etc.. Because to me, that needs immediate and serious discipline. That isn't something that you work on over time. If he does something that can kill him, I need to be sure that he never does it again.

[Tonya]

BTW, on the whole spanking issue...I can see the point of view that spanking is abusive. Before I had Jaden, I was very adament that I would NOT spank my children. But I soon learned that it is easier said then done. Every child is different and they all have different learning styles. I do have a few personal rules though. I never spank when angry. I always explain why I am spanking him beforehand. I always (after he has time to think) hug him and talk to him about what he did wrong. And I *try* to never use my hands to spank him. I think that hands should be for loving. I do not ever want my son to fear my hands. I use a belt when I spank him. Like I said, he's now at the age where I can ration with him though. I cannot remember the last time that I had to spank him.

[carole]

I consider this child abuse, she needs to take some parenting classes and learn new effective methods of teaching her children to behave better.

Tonya I would never use a belt on my child, you say hands are for loving, that maybe so, but you could hit too hard with a belt, I would seriously re-consider how you spank Jaden. I am glad to hear you hardly ever have to use this method of punishment, and I know he is ADHD, and hard to handle,so i do understand where you are coming from, and yes of course I have spanked my children, but having a big ten yr gap between the two, I like to think I learn't better ways of dealing with un-acceptable behaviour.

The trouble with spanking is that there is a very fine line, and some people just loose it and do go overboard, and then it becomes abuse., that is why it is better to use your hands, because your hands cannot really do that much damage, they can hurt, but not cause serious injury. JMO.

[Tonya]

Originally posted by carole
I consider this child abuse, she needs to take some parenting classes and learn new effective methods of teaching her children to behave better.

Tonya I would never use a belt on my child, you say hands are for loving, that maybe so, but you could hit too hard with a belt, I would seriously re-consider how you spank Jaden.

I can imagine how some people would think of it as harsh punishment. But I don't crack my belt on him like a whip. I spank him on the bottom lightly and I'm never angry. Also, I'm always spanking him through his jeans. I think it'd be cruel if I was spanking his bare bottom with a belt. It's been at least a year since I've even spanked him though. I've always only used spanking as a last resort for serious offenses...for things like the time he cut the electrical cords with scissors. It's funny now, but boy did that freak me out!

[carole]

Tonya I am very glad to hear you donot spank him when angry, most people do resort to spanking when they have just had enough and can take no more , I still think you should throw that belt away.

[carole]

Whereas some of you think it is ok to stuff a hot pepper down the childs mouth, I fail to see how this kind of punishment will work, it does not teach the child anything, except when I am naughty I get this hot stuff in my mouth, which after a while they may begin to get used to it and not worry too much, just judging by what some of you say, they are not that bad., it is really the principal behind it all that matters to me, you have to teach your child the rights and wrongs in life, consquences, etc etc, this just seems a silly way to teach them anything if you ask me.

[Jods]

I agree with spanking with a hand only because with your hand you can control how much it will hurt for the most part. As for spanking being abusive there is a line the line is a spaking is a couple smacks on the behind or hand not a full out beating that is abusive. Also abuse is hurting your child out of anger. I was spanked as a child with a hand paddle etc... I turned out fine, but once my mother gave us a smack with a paddle and since I'm so much smaller then my brother it left huge marks and my mother swore never to hurt me like that again. She tried to give me a smack when I got older (teenage years) it didn't work to well cuz I smaked her back Yes I was brave then LOL. About the pepper the thing I'd be worried about would be the child choking from crying and trying to swallow it at the same time and the fact that your physically forcing your child to eat something thats sad. I once read about a parent who made their daughter eat soap cuz she swore and she choked on her saliva and vomit from it and died ... I don't think its something to call the police over I think she just needs to be talked to shes obviously having a hard time raising her children.
Good luck

[carole]

Yep she needs to learn some parenting skills, she is acting out of anger and pure fustration I think, and Jods you raise good points I never even gave a thought, the choking issue, one good reason to stop this form of discipline immediately.

I think Tonya giving her the books will be an excellent idea, then she can learn there are indeed other ways of getting your child to behave.

I am glad you agree with me about using your hand only, a hand can not do much damage, it can sting a little but that is about all, it still can get the message across if that is your preferred way of discipling your child.

I can honestly say I spanked my son more than my daughter, I was raising him alone, my parents influenced the way I disciplined him, and I regret it, I never went overboard, but I have since learned far better ways of discipling my child.

I am also grateful I sought alternative advice and learned to discipline my son differently as well, and neither of them have turned out to be ratbags, so the old cliche I was spanked and it did me no harm, can be used well I was never spanked and it did me no harm.

If I had raising my children to do all over again, I would never spank them at all.

BTW in NZ it may become against the law to spank your child, they are trying to bring this in, I am not sure I agree 100 per cent, it seems to be taking away the rights of the parents, but we do have to consider the rights of the child, maybe making it law will save some childrens lives who knows, I have mixed feelings on this one, but as I am a law abiding citizen I would respect it, if it became law and not spank.

[animal_rescue]

I never thought of jalapenos as a punishment! Then again when I was 5 I ate them on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! I loved them when I was little(kinda wished that was the punishment my parents gave me when I was bad) but I just got spanked....

[mina'smomma]

My only questions is what is she going to do when the kids become immune to their heat.

Personally I go for a spanking. That is why God padded their little tushies. Besides there is a difference between spanking a child and beating a child. When I have children it will only be if they do something that is dangerous to either themselves or someone else.

[aly]

Inside Edition today has a segment on 'Disciplining your children with hot sauce'. Its on right now in case anyone reads this and wants to turn it on. I'm sure it comes on at different times in other places, but someone else might have it on now too.

[carole]

Unfortunately Mina'smomma, some people cross the line, they spank out of pure frustration, and anger, which leads to a beating, maybe if spanking is outlawed in my country it will save those children from that fate and even worse, I really don't know, does anyone know statistics from other countries where it has been outlawed,? I think it has in some european countries.

Maybe we could have a whole new generation of children raised without ever experiencing a spanking, now that would be different.

I know my parents generation believe we are all too easy on our children today and that is what is wrong with society as a whole, but I don't agree with them, society is so different from even my day, your damned if you do spank and damned if you don't, there are so many other pressures in life, working parents,to name but one, the kids don't even have much certainty of a future, with all that is happening in our world today, hence suicide rates are high in the young , especially in my country.

I have to say my mother was abused by her foster mother, and she would say well it did me no harm, but believe me I can see all the harm it did her. She is just in denial about it all, like many. JMO.