I don't think people are critising you and not helping, there is constructive critisim and that is what is being offered to you here.

I agree with most of the comments, and the last thread makes a lot of sense, no-one is saying you are bad owners, just that maybe Meka is not the cat for you.

If you love the cat at all why on earth would you consider returning her to a kill shelter or releasing her to the unknown, that would indeed be a cruel fate, and you need to tell hubby that is NOT an option period.

I understand and empathise with you, that you have tried a lot of things, and it just is not working, so try and re-home Meka and think long and hard about whether you do want another kitty, a senior kitty may indeed be the answer.

Cats are just like humans, they all have different personalitys, and lets face it we don't all get along with everyone in this world,so why should it be any different with a kitty.

Do yourself and Meka a favour and find a new home that suits her better.