I need all the hugs you can spare.

[kuhio98]

Originally posted by jenluckenbach
...I saw my new counsellor for the first time today. I like her. We are going to attempt to work on HOW I can stop blaming myself for everything that happens around me. HOW I can stop thinking I need to be perfect in all things. And HOW to stop dwelling and dwelling on only the negative.

Jen: Boy does this sound familiar. I lived like that for many years. What finally made a difference for me is the realization that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PERFECTION. We all have different definitions of what "perfection" looks like. There is NO way to achieve it -- it shouldn't even be a goal. Life itself, is not about perfection. Life evolved (if you believe in evolution) from a series of fortunate accidents and coincidences. Our lives are like that too. From every so-called "negative" experience, we learn something positive.

The other thing that helped me was learning to GET OVER MYSELF. How stuck-up was I to think that I was so powerful that the world revolved around me? Just my mear presence effected change in others?? I was so instrumental in other's lives that I was ultimately responsible for every thought, feeling or action they took ???? It came as quite a shock to me to learn that I wasn't responsible for other's actions -- I didn't have that kind of power so why should I feel like their actions had anything to do with me?

I learned that people's actions have nothing to do with me. It's all about them. So, why should I feel responsible for them? Lisa made the decision based upon what's going on in her life -- not yours. It would be great if she could give you an explanation. But, really what could she say that would be helpful? Let her work out her issues and you work out yours. Someday, you may be able to be friends again or at least make peace with each other.

There is a saying I heard once -- not sure if this is right -- but something about people come into your life for a season, a reason or a ??? (Can't remember the rest). Maybe Lisa was in your life for a purpose. Her actions (as hurtful as they may appear) have started you on a voyage of discovery about yourself and your life.

Sending you many hugs as you begin this process. Be kind and patient with yourself. You're okay. You're fine. Hundreds of cats, can't be wrong! You know how picky they are.