OH, I TOTALLY get you. My mom's side is messed up. One of her brothers is a MAJOR control freak and a backstabber (so is his wifey), and the other one is an alcoholic who is in Detox, and then there is my grandma who has been depressed for practically her whole life and she FINALLY started taking anti-depressants now. Most of the tension involves my uncle and his wife, the ones that think everyone ELSES business is their business, and they give their advice when you didn't ask for it, etc. They even had a meeting once about my dad saying nasty stuff about him, inviting everyone in the family except for him! I don't remember if my mom was invited or not. Anyho, my advice would try not to say anything to fan the flames, keep all the personal stuff (like your brother owing you money, etc) out of the holidays, and talk to them another time. Just grin and bear everything, thats what I do. {{{HUGS}}}