Place it in God's hands and he will take care of you and your babies. You WILL survive so place it in His hands and relax. He will lead you to where He wants you to be! I believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason, it is in His plan, it just takes us awhile to figure out what He had on His mind when something stressful happens. Turn it over to Him and ask Him to lead you to where He wants you to be.

I personally think He has a better job in mind for you. Hang in there!!