I am so sorry. Perkins was a beautiful boy, and I can tell the pain is still so raw for you. Please know that Perkins is looking down on you, with love. Love for what you did while he was living, and for what you did when he was sick. That is what compassion is..doing what is right, without thought for how you will feel about it later. RIP, Perkins. Special hugs for your meowmie that still misses you very badly.