Maria, I too am disturbed by this topic. Everyone has good days and bad days and being a teen is especially hard. I've been there, done that.
I truly hope that you have friends you can turn to and really talk things out with. For starters, it's good that you are writing it down both here and in a journal. Sometimes getting the words out on paper can serve as a release, in a way.
Could it be that your Mother is going through Menopause? Believe me, it does very strange things with the body and the mind. You can be very cranky and irrational one day and totally UP the next. I'm not making excuses for your Mother's behaviour, it's just a thought. Do you have a Dad you can talk to?
Like others have said, think also of Major. He loves you and needs you to be around and would be very sad if something were to happen to you, and so would we.
Hang in there girl. I promise, it will get better. Don't feel bad about venting here on Pet Talk. We will always be here for you 24/7.
{{{HUGS}}}
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand and strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!
--unknown
Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see
--Polar Express
Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened.
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