Yes. Sometimes it's the pressure of being obligated that makes keeping commitments so hard. So do you bail out? Or do you go and put on the obligatory happy face/happy life? It usually does not take courage exactly to ask for help (yeah some) it most often takes desperation and you don't want to wait. If you see a pattern of self-destructive behavior (I will be honest here, for the last 3 years, my hard, self-destruction has landed in july and aug) then tell your doctor you want a referral to a counselor, you don't have to say why - it's an insurance thing (check your insurance- mine requires md referral). Then, you see her, and say, "I need help with my moods" or whatever you think is wrong. She in turn will ask you a series of questions about your life and moods and go from there. It's not scary at all and actually is very reasurring in that no one gets excited about your request, the earth doesn't stop spinning etc, and you feel BETTER for talking to someone who sees people in your position a kazillion times! We are all there for you (and Anathiona). PS- i have counseling tomorrow and am already thinking about how I am going to get out of it- but I do want to see my psychiatrist soon and ask about topamax for me!)