It sounds like you had a strong connection with that cute kitten. Most people end up with the cats they have by some sort of fate, they KNOW that they are supposed to have the cat somehow. How did you decide you were going to keep the first 2? I say foster the cat and see how it interacts with your cats and husband. Your husband should be respectful of your feelings and how strongly you felt about the cat. One more cat doesn't make that much difference, I should know As you see, I have twins (we had them first) and we rescued Lucky from the side of the road afterwards and we weren't planning on keeping him but here he is with us almost a year later. We have 2 boys and a girl so the dynamic in your house would be different. You can never tell though, unless you try. My opinion is that I think you had a strong bond with the cat and most people say that their cats picked THEM. It sounds like she picked you and is just waiting for you to figure out a way to make her part of your life