Sorry I have no advice you want to hear, but that is one of the reasons I am now single! LOL My dogs & I are both happier!
Anyways, yes it should be a 1/2-1/2 decision that both agree on, & yes it's confusing to the dog, Your hubby should understand, maybe he was just in a bad mood that day?
Like Amber said the dog can learn to know the diference (thats what I did to my dogs on the bed when my ex was not at home LOL)
I've got tons of dog beds around my house from when I was w/ ex, they are a great alternative (although rarely used now, haha)