I suppose I can throw my 2 cents in this one too. It is hard to discribe the difficulty between my sister and me without going into a lot of detail. In a nut shell I think she wanted to be an only child, and tried her best to put me in a bad light every chance she could with our mother. It worked to some degree, but not competely and when our mother died, although my sister inherited a substantial amount more than I did, she wasn't happy and tried her best gain control over the assets which were left to me. I had to go to court to protect my interests, and the effects of a long drawn out legal battle were emotionally and financially draining. In the end, she was not able to accomplish her intent.
Despite all this, had she ever said the two words *I'm sorry* I would have forgiven her immediately. I never heard those words but I ended up forgiving her anyway. Even in the thick of the battle, I always told her I loved her and wanted us to be sisters who cared for one another. When she did not respond, I would repeat what I said and then she would say...*I heard you*.
Don't get me wrong, I still don't trust her, but I do love her. She now has terminal cancer and I am so upset by that and so sad for her. We speak, but don't mention the past. The contacts are from me to her, not the other way around.
My take on your situation would be for you to encourage your Dad to spend Christmas with your brother. Really try to convince him that your brother needs him there and it is okay with you. It is a small act of love that is going to cost you nothing. You and your husband stay home and spend Christmas together.
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