I won't be mad at you for what you are doing, but, I would ask you to look at the 'big' picture. This situation you are going through is NOT a forever thing. It isn't as if this will be your life forever. I always find it overwhelming to think, "OMG, how can I live like this?" As opposed to "man, this is going to suck for 6 months, or however long". Perspective.

I can recall, and believe it or not, fondly, how my kittens were. Georgia brought down a book case, Tenny destroyed a lovely ficus tree, Ally and Dakky broke so many things that it began to make me cringe to open the door after work. Dakky licked my lips for 1 year, while I TRIED to sleep. BUT, that is life. I wouldn't trade it for all the catnip tea in China.

Bluekat, you have to ask yourself, "was this really what I wanted"? "Was this in eveyone's best interest"? We can give you all the support in the world, but, if your true feelings are that you made a mistake, nothing will change. You will get resentful.

I have feelings like yours with Binx. What a change in my life, my house, it is messy, it is tiring to clean up after him all the time, it is gross at times, I hate my yard now, my couch might be ruined, etc. I then realize the greater good. I am giving him a home most people wouldn't. It is an inconvenience. But, it is ONLY an inconvenience. No one is dead/hurt/ill, etc.

I hope you will hang in there with the kitty. Who knows, you may learn something important about yourself.