Aly, I read this before I went to class and then sat there and cried the whole way through. My heart absolutely aches for you, friend.

When Sophie was little and it seemed we were at the vets' office every other day, I prayed that if she were to pass that I wouldn't be there. (Often, if going "naturally," bunnies scream as/when they pass.) She pulled through and I was blessed to share my home with the lil' spitfire for just over two years.

Then, we had the last tummy episode. (And, now I'm really sobbing. ) My prayers were answered, I was not with her. Do I regret it? Yes and no. I've always wondered who/where/and when was her last human contact? Were they gentle to her? Did they talk to her? What did they say? I know her passing wasn't peaceful as the vet commented, "He heard a commotion from the back..." I don't regret being there for a selfish reason... *I* couldn't have handled hearing her like that. I do regret not extensively considering having her pts; it would've been much more peaceful. But she had improved so much that last day I saw her.....

I'm crying so hard I can't even finish typing all I had intended to say.... if you are on AIM tonight -and feel like having company- I'll chat with you then. God bless you, Aly, I think you're doing the right thing for YOU *and* Peka.

{hugs}