Well, you've got us all in tears. We don't think you're horrible for not staying with her. I couldn't take my cat when it was his time. My mom had to do it. I had been with my cat before that one and it is very hard. I'm sure Peka knows how much you
love and care for her. I know it must be horrible to see her in this condition. Would your vet come to your house? Mine does for nothing extra. That might make it easier on you. Also, do you have any pics? I would like to see her. I hope you will feel better soon. I know it's a horribly difficult time for you. Let your other furry angels comfort you.