I have been lurking here for quite a while, in fact, I remember your loss of Gabe and Graemer sadly. I have read of your troubles with Ti since you got him as well as the stories of Miley's fear.
I remember when you would describe Miley with not so nice terms because she did not want to play or have anything to do with Ti. Now, I see the same not so nice words about Ti. It seems clear to me that Ti is a dominant cat (which Bengals can be) and simply scares Miley. In some situations, certain cats will not get along with each other, but they're just being cats. The Bengal breed is crossed with the Asian Leopard Cat with some outcrossing of the African Wildcat by some breeders (both wild cats, thus making the Bengal a "hybrid" breed), which makes it a naturally more agressive breed. The Abby is a very small and curious breed, but is also a more soft-hearted and sensitive breed of cat. Also, since Miley was the first cat in residence (meaning, she was there before both Ti and Juni), her needs should be the most prominent. At the first sign of aggression by Ti against Miley, I really would have wondered about my decision. Why did I adopt Ti?
Unfortunately, when you are dealing with distinct breeds, "a cat is a cat is a cat" does not apply. The Abby and Bengal are completely opposite breeds and frankly, I am not surprised that Ti scares Miley so much.
Also, Miley (and you sasvermont) has been through a lot, with the loss of her sibling Graemer and newer "sibling" Gabe has no doubt taken a toll on her emotionally. The addition of this dominant breed of cat is very hard on her because of what she has been through. It is not surprising, however, that she gets along with Juni, who was younger and of the same breed.
In my opinion it would have been a good idea to talk with a different breeder at the first sight of Miley's terror. I also wonder why research wasn't done on the Bengal breed as well as this breeder you seem to hate so much. (Although I am now glad you found a good one.) I do think it is the best idea to rehome Ti. I really hope that if you decide on getting another cat, you would consider going to the shelter and getting something that would be more cohesive with your established family. "Purebreeds", doesn't necessarily mean "best". Honestly, most "breeders" really aren't ethical, no matter how much you research. I really am not trying to be rude, but after watching this situation unfold I have to finally put in my two cents as a registered user.
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