Naomi,
I am sorry you are going through this, for both you and Bassett. Remember that this IS a temporary thing. This won't be forever, and you don't have to think, "How will I deal with this forever?" It is just temporary. Now, you need to recognize that NAOMI has been through alot, too (we will get to Bassett in a moment). You are prolly feeling alot of the tension/fear/sadness, etc., come out now, now that Bassett has made it through the woods. Prolly much like a grieving person goes through stages. For so long, you had to be tough to be there for Bassett. So, these 'other' things weren't an issue. Now, that you can breathe easier, some of the 'other' things are becoming annoying/irritating/bothersome, etc.

I know how you feel about Bassett's burns. When Binx was still laid up from his nuetering ten days after the sir jury, and three ER vets later, I was pretty peeved at the surgeon. I was about ready to aim when I recieved a bill in the mail for the three days worth of antibiotics they provided- after all, they were the ones that infected him (that is how I see it). In 24 hours time, I spent over 200, all because of his 'simple' nuetering. The surgeon has the audacity to say, "maybe it is connected to his mouth problem".

Back to you- whatever is the cause of Bassett's burns, that is secondary now. Keeping her ok is the focus. I know the cone thing is awful. BUT, it isn't going to kill her. She might hate it, but, so what. We all have had to endure things we hate. I am not saying don't feel bad for her, but, you got to just ignore that for awhile. Have you tried telling her what is going on? As to the other's reacting to her, and her own animosity, that sounds pretty normal to me. Fear will bring it out, uncertainty will bring it out.

Finally, instead of the cone, would you be able to purchase a baby's onsie? Put it on her backwards, so her privates are still accessible, and snap it on one side of her neck, or, cut a whole in it. Or, try a children's t-shirt, on backwards. It provides another layer of protection to the burns, and doesn't involve the cone.
This was an idea given to me by Albea when Binx had his problems. It worked for us.

Good luck!!! And, we are all still praying for you guys.