This is a very good topic, Pam, that ought to give us a lot of opportunity for thoughtful discussion. As you know, I'm 40, almost 41, and Scott and I have made the very serious decision that we will not consider having a child together, as nice as it would be to have one of our own. I have only had the pleasure of giving birth to one on my own, and always wanted more, even considering adoption as a single mother, during that 10 year period that I was not married. In the end, I decided it was not in Helen's best interest to bring a baby into our home. I cannot imagine the fear I would have being pregnant at this age, fear that something would go wrong, fear that I would not be able to properly care for an infant and the other three children. I know LOTS of women do this at my age, but I just don't think I'm up to it, as much as I would love having a new life in this happy home, and I know the children would too. My mother had a baby (surprise baby) at 42. My dad was 44. He was perfect, thank goodness, but at a time when all of their friends were experiencing the "empty nest", my parents still had a child in high school! My sister and I were 17 and 13, respectively, when he was born. We thought he was wonderful, and still do, but it was tough, and continues to be tough for my parents.

As for invitro fertilization, I think I'm for it, as I have a dear friend who now has a wonderful six month old son as a result. She would never have been able to have a child otherwise. I see benefits for those families, so how could I be against it? But for a 52 year old woman to have a baby is very scary to me! I think you are all right. This child will lose his/her parents at a very young age. Is that fair?

It is confusing and I can understand the conflicting emotions that surround it, wanting to share new life with a new partner, and hopefully being able to support it, not only financially, but physically and mentally as well. Can you tell I'm confused about the whole issue????