Our PT joke thread

[cats4ever]

"Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes." -- author unknown

Love it! I have to get me those shoes.

[cassiesmom]

My dad told me this joke...

A milkman is making his deliveries and finds a note attached to a customer's door saying, "I need 45 gallons of milk."
He knocks at the door and a lady answers it.
"Forty-five gallons of milk. Is this a mistake?" the milkman asks.
"No," she says, "I was watching a talk show and it said bathing in milk is a good aphrodisiac."
"Really?" replies the milkman. "Do you want that pasteurized?"
"No, up to my chest will be fine."

[cats4ever]

That's funny! I had to read it out loud a couple of times to get it.

[mon]

First joke I remember hearing. Guy with a hair lip goes to the pet store, "Can I buy some birdseed please". Clerk says "I can't understand what you said. Guy goes away, comes back the next day, " I would like to buy some birdseed please" clerk says "go away hairlip, I can't understand what your saying!" The guy comes back every day for two weeks. On the 15 th day, the guy comes in and says," Hey mister, ya wanna buy a dead bird"?

[cassiesmom]

I saw this recently and it gave me a smile. With apologies in advance for any negative stereotypes.



How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.

Rottweiler: Make me.

Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?

Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy.

Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls.

Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Mastiff: Change it yourself! I’m not afraid of the dark…

Doberman: While it’s out, I’ll just take a nap on the couch.

Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb?

Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…

Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? I don't see a burnt out light bulb.

Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?


Cat: Dogs do not change light bulbs — people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect light again?

[cats4ever]

That's cute!

[phesina]

Hee hee! Funny! All kinds of darling dogs there.