Perhaps I shouldn't even comment because I do not have children but obviously I had parents and believe me, none of this behavior would have been tolerated.

I will say that your grown children sound very childish,spoiled, self-centered, probably because you all used to do/get everything they wanted. Must be quite a shock to them now that you don't jump up and do what they say LOL. Also it sounds as if they are punishing you two if they do not get their way--very childish imo. They sound very immature and selfish and very unappreciative for all you have done for them. I cannot imagine myself ever being so hateful and unappreciative to my parents when they were living.

I agree with whoever said to just leave them alone for awhile. When you try to give them a gift or visit them, I bet it gives them some kind of enjoyment to not be socialable or agreeable because they want to punish you because you aren't doing what they want.

One other thing: I would not be buying expensive gifts for your ungrateful children; they don't deserve it. I'm sorry you all are having this problem.