Karen,
Geesh, its 3AM and I'm wide awake with grief over this.

He and I have been seeing therapist over the years. He has a great set of therapists right now at the VA hospital. They say we're such a strong team that I'm not "Allowed" at his visits more than once every 6 visits - that he needs to continue working on his own. It sounds odd, but it makes sense in context: We're STRONG as a couple and a team. We're both on the same page of everything that matters (Stupid things like where to eat dinner don't count )

We've suggested the kids join us over the years. Once even got Ashley there (with a bit of bribery of our own) and she clammed up and didn't say anything and refused to ever return. She needs therapy on her own desperately. Heather thinks therapy is a joke and staunchly refuses to go. We've invited her many times, and suggested couple's counseling for her and her husband. He (her husband) thinks therapy is hooey too, so we're out of options there. and Tony? the closest way I got him to go to a therapist meeting was the time I had him drive me there to meet Grant at the VA hospital, and I swear there were skid marks on the street (one because he's a terrible driver and another because he was relieved to have me out of his car!)

God, I'd love to throw a family intervention - but how on earth to get them all in the same place at once? How to KEEP them there without storming out? Because I can see at least one or two storming out.



I never thought about the babysitting in the light of daycares making parents bring the kids. How simple! Why do I overthink things like that? Gos, how many times have I said that they're not hurting us - they're hurting the kids. Cameron's said so many sad and desperate things to me. Unsurprisingly, she's a selfish mom who makes her son fill the role her dad did: do what I want, when I want, and how I want or endure my wrath.

Oh, he has 2 therapy meetings a month - the most he's been able to schedule within the VA. I just got new insurance and therapy is murderously expensive: $100 a session that goes towards my $3000 deductible I think I'd be better off paying outright. Even though finances are much better, its still hard to swallow $100 a session, especially seeing I'll most likely never meet my deductible. I PRAY I'll never see me meet the deductible - that would mean I got seriously sick.