"Helicopter" parenting

[RICHARD]

I went out to do the lawn and was thinking about this thread and how pompous I am.

I have no children, so, I need to apologize to all the parents out there.

Um,
I am sorry I laughed at you and your child when you came over and your little one would not leave your arms and cried when you tried to put them down so we could have a conversation.

I am sorry that I wouldn't talk 'adult' when you refused to tell the kids to leave the room.

I am sorry that I made your children cry harder when I refused to give them a treat to get them to be quiet.

I am sorry that I scolded your children when they misbehaved and you could care less.

I am sorry that your child said to you, "Let's ask uncle Richard, he knows the answer..."

I am sorry that you had to leave your kids with me when they refused to go on vacation with you - and they told you that they would have more fun hanging with me.

I am sorry when I started to do something with them and they told me, "My parents won't let me do --------" and heartbroken when they told me, "Please don't tell them we ----------."

I am sorry your kidlets came to me and asked me for advice because 'mom and dad don't listen, understand, get mad."

I am sorry that I put a helmet on your kid and took them around the block on the motorcycle, Mom and Dad suck when it comes to speed.

I am sorry that you had to work that screwed up shift and I took the kids during that time.

I am sorry you had to say, "Behave or I will tell uncle Richard". That must hurt to know I have more sway over your kids and I can talk to them and instill more fear that you could?

I am sorry your kid wanted a drink of my beer, I gave them one and laughed at the face they made.

I am sorry about the time we went camping and the kids didn't want to hang with you, instead they wanted to play cards and learn how to gamble from me.

I am sorry I showed them how to use a knife when we were in the kitchen and hope you never find out that I let them use a power drill, screwdriver or hammer when they were 6.

There is a bunch of other stuff that you should know, but I am bound by my word and the trust YOUR children put into me, I apologize for that, too.

Anyway, those are the things that I am sorry for and I hope that by virtue of you having children, that your wisdom, knowledge and respect will far outweigh any that I may leech from your offspring.

Much love,
Uncle Richard.

[RICHARD]

Check out the guy on the left.

Is that what it feels like when you have to deal with a 'autogyro parent'?

[RICHARD]

My mom wasn't a helicopter mom, she was more a bi-plane mom.



My one favorite 'bit of wisdom' and bomb she dropped on us kids was this little jewel.......

We'd come to her after some trauma/drama/stupidity that we had caused to ourselves and after we told her the story, she'd say....

"WHO SENT YOU?"

That was code for 'You should have thought about it before you got into trouble.'

IF it was a huge earth-shaking event, she'd help, otherwise we had to sit down, eat a large helping of humble pie, then figure out how we were going to fix things.

-------------

To this day, when I see someone doing something stupid I stop and think about 'who sent them'!