"Helicopter" parenting

[Lady's Human]

We homeschool so no one needs to be threatened about their kids science fair projects lol.

The science fair project is an example, a symptom of the disease, if you will. The behavior goes across the spectrum, though. My child isn't going to fail at anything, so I'm going to help him/her with everything.....to the point that they can't do anything by themselves.

[snakemama]

I DO the hiring at my store, and no WAY would I hire someone whose mom came in and talked them up like that. I HAVE hired a few kids whose parent came by to shop and said something like "Are you hiring? My son knows horses and he needs something part-time!"

In the situation Karen described, if I were on the receiving end of that I would be thinking to myself that if the girl couldn't come chat with me about her own qualifications and skills, what CAN she do on her own? I want employees who don't have to be micromanaged and can get stuff done without me guiding them every step of the way. I do NOT want employees who have always had help with everything and therefore can't do anything without guidance.

I have one of those right now. I feel like a preschool teacher because I'm CONSTANTLY having to come up with projects and things for this employee to do. The rest of them can generally figure out what needs doing and only need occasional input from me. THEY get raises, paid holidays, health and dental insurance, and vacation hours. The one who needs constant guidance? I just keep cutting hours....

[Bonny]

snakemama,

Where I work we ended up making a list of things that need to be done for everyday of the week. Then the employees check them off as they are done. You might want to consider doing something like that.

Four years ago we had a parent come to the museum & she wanted her 14 year old daughter to be a tour guide. One of the many directors we have gone through hired her. She is a pain in the butt for sure. We cut her hours also & she can't figure out why? She needs the money but doesn't want to work for it & is broke & can't go of to school because she has NO MONEY. She has worked at the museum for four years & should of socked some money away?

[RICHARD]

Bubble Wrap.


Bubble Wrap all children, then put them into a box?

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Look it Up.

Growing up, I had the most wonderful reference library at my disposal.

It was about 120 books and it ranged from a kid's encyclopedia to Funk and Wagnalls to some other dictionaries and odds and ends.

Dewey, and his decimal system would have gone crazy because no set was complete.

If you looked at the shelves on either side of the fireplace you have thought that Funk and Wagnalls knew about A thru F and had lost the rest of the alphabet. The same with all the rest of the 'sets'.

My dad would somehow find these jewels, St thru W, a volume of the Time-Life science set, or some other book of knowledge, bring them home and pop them onto the shelf.

It really didn't matter that they were incomplete, they had photos and words, stories of places I wanted to go, stay away from? Wars and peace, animals and plants, time past and time yet to come.

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It really doesn't matter what you do for a kid or how you treat them growing up.

You have to instill the idea of wonder, the (as hokey as it sounds) thirst for knowledge and information.

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Giving a kid an iPhone or a tablet isn't going to to sh*t for them.

First take them to a Library and show them how to use a book, a reference card, teach them how to THINK ABOUT HOW TO GET THAT ANSWER.

Typing a bing, google or asking that stupid broad on your cell phone is gonna get you the answer that THEY want you to have, It's the answer that everyone else gets, too.

The Paper Trail in the library is fraught with all kinds of pitfalls.

It turns a simple question into a search for an answer with all kinds of detours, u-turns and OTHER questions. You can start at why the sun is hot or what it is made of and end up with quantum mechanics. How's about why plant leaves are green and how that is associated with sunlight? And maybe gets into why a koala only eats eucalyptus leaves, why a panda eats bamboo and you then end up in China at the end of a few hours wandering the aisles of a library?

My 'wireless device' isn't going to allow me to find those answers the way a library will and when you get the bill at the end of the month.......oh, THE LIBRARY WON'T SEND YOU ONE!

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In the evenings we sit down to watch Jeopardy! and at least once during the program Doris and I look at each other and laugh about the inability of a twenty-something to answer a simple - I mean really simple - question.

Sometimes the best players aren't the PhDs, MBA or doctors (We really laugh at them) - it's a bartender, or some nanny, a working stiff from a warehouse? It the people who seek out info and absorb it like a sponge.

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Looking back, I wish I would have had children.

They would bleed from the knees from playing, get into trouble from breaking a window or being out too late.
They would say "Yes Sir" and "No, Ma'am" but would talk too much in the classroom. They'd know what a walk in the park is and learn how to skip rocks in the water.

They would know sports and fixing things, ask me questions that I'd answer, "I don't know, let's go figure this out....."
They'd be rebellious and I'd get compliments about their behavior in public, because like my parents, I go corporal on their arses, then explain why and what they needed to do to prevent that in the future.

Then I would tell them that I loved them.

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The other phenomenon is the "Tiger Mom Syndrome".

Um, you can take my word for it, or you can look it up.