Bless you for taking pain upon yourself to spare your beloved Sourpatch. He is SO blessed to have YOU for his human! He's waiting at the Bridge, gloriously alive, perfectly healthy, and blissfully happy. Try to be happy for him even as you cry for your self - and you do need to cry. The pain will ease in time, but the scar will remain until you are reunited with him - both of you whole and happy. May Sourpatch's Creator hold you gently and lead your heart to peace.