Quote Originally Posted by Karen View Post
Maybe you should set up a time to meet her for lunch and talk with her about why she seems to resent you, etc. There is plenty of time between now and next September to work things out, and if you still don't get friendly with her, ask her if she would be willing to do a reading or something, rather being a bridesmaid, that way she can be a part of her brother's big day, but not have to hang around with you very much.
This is the "logical" thing to do, but I will speak with experience...

First and foremost, this is YOUR big day. Not to say this isn't your future hubby's big day, either, but guy's usually don't get "into" the wedding planning and effort or dream about their wedding day as much as us gals do. That having been said, you need to do what makes YOU happy. If not having her as a bridesmaid is going to cause a lot of tension between you and your fiance, then fine, do it. But most bridesmaids are happy to be a part of the entire wedding planning process, something she won't seem to want to do.

When I was married, my sister in law and I did NOT have a good relationship, either. In fact, she wasn't even on speaking terms with any of her parents or siblings throughout the planning. His other sister I did have a good relationship with and she WAS one of my bridesmaids, but this one I did not even invite to the wedding (she showed up, anyway).

I guess the most important thing here is, bottom line - communication. Communication of thoughts and feelings between you and your fiance, and communication between your future SIL and yourself. If she won't even attempt to sit down and have a civil conversation with you about why she has acted the way she has to you, then, in my honest opinion, she has no right to be an intimate part of your wedding day.