Scared of commitment?

[Cataholic]

The reason people always say, "slow down, you are young still, have fun", etc., is cause it is the 'truth'. LOL.

Slow down. Let it just be a date, or hanging out, or doing something, or whatever you all call it these days. Try not to involve your girlfriends, who will just want to relive every moment, creating a big moment of anxiety where one doesn't need to be. If you are free, and want to hang out, do it. If not, it doesn't mean anything to anyone.

Remember where the focus is- on you, yourself, your interests, your hobbies, your development, your EDUCATION. Everything else- boys included, should be back seat..heck, they should prolly be hanging onto the bumper.

Someone said to me the other day that there is some pill that reverses your age...so you would become 24 again- no way. I hate all this anxiety over relationships. Way too much of a stressor for me.

Give me my old age, any day. Where my worries are, "did I align the spy camera the right way to catch the entire area where the cats pee?", and, "did I remember to hide some snacks away so J has some treats in his lunch this week?" :-O

[Randi]

I say don't panic, you're still young. It's good to go on a date and just hang out together, that way you'll find out if it's a relationship you want long term. I didn't have a steady boyfriend until I was 24. Relax, have fun together and give it some time, you'll find the right one eventually.

[robinh]

I agree with everything said so far. I also think that the best relationships start with a good solid friendship.

My SO and I have been together 30 years. He is my best friend. I can tell him anything and he understands me. We've done some really crazy stuff together and we laugh all the time.

If this guys is nice and he likes the same things you do, go hang-out, enjoy yourself and wait to see if it develops. If he's the right one, he'll wait until you are ready.

[moosmom]

As Judge Judy says, "You're not cooked yet!"

Take it from someone who was married at 20 and with a kid at 23, and divorced by 26...GO OUT AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE FIRST!!! I didn't "get it" till I was divorced and raising a child. Boy did I make up for lost time! Hard partying, drinking, staying out till all hours of the night. When the dust settled, I finally realized that I don't have to have a man in my life to be happy.

Now, at age 59, I'm content to be by myself. You have to be happy with yourself first, before you can be happy with anyone else. JMO

[Alysser]

I really appreciate everyones input, seriously. I think you guys are right, maybe I am just scared of being dumped or hurt again. So, I keep trapping myself. I think I'll just take it date by date for now. I told him today I am intending to take this slow....like real slow. I'm seeing where this goes for now. I do like him a decent amount though. I know I shouldn't worry about everyone else but it's just difficult not to. Everyone's always asking me about boys and things related to that. I was asked by an older woman at my internship if I was married, and I am pretty sure she knew I was 19. Personally, I think 18 is too young to be engaged, but it's my friends business not mine. Engagement isn't my goal any time soon, but a REAL relationship wouldn't be bad right about now.

Cataholic, I've made it very clear to him that my education (college-wise) and career (another thing I've yet to figure out, but at least narrowed down!) are key. I've always been told I'm independent by my parents and people close to me, and I would never screw myself out of a dream career for some boy

[mon]

There is no specific age to fall in love with the right person. When you do, you'll know it. I think you are doing everything right, for you. You have self respect and perhaps the right person you haven't met quite yet. I think that you are very smart and aren't missin' a thing. I kissed a lotta frogs before I met my prince, never settle for anything less. Seriously, never settle honey

[Taz_Zoee]

I was in your shoes 20 years ago. All my friends were getting married and having babies. Sure it hurt a little when I really thought about it. I had several failed relationships. But two days before I turned 30 I met the man I've been with for over 9 years now. No we aren't married or have kids, but...........we're happy!
He wasn't in the "ideal" category for me either. He is 13 years older than me and I thought it would never work. But with no pressure of commitment things have worked out great!
Of course we always get the comments "why aren't you married?" or "do you want to get married?" or "when are you getting married?" My usual answers are "because" or "it's not that important" or "maybe never".

Oh, and I always hated when people said this to me (but I found out it's true!), but "it will happen when you least expect it". Stop trying so hard and it will happen. When I met Bruce I had just ended a 9 month relationship and thought "there's no harm in just talking to this guy". We've never gone a day in 9 years without talking.
I also hated it when people said "you're still young, you have your whole life ahead of you". But now that I'm almost 40, again, I see it was/is true! Shoot, I still feel like I've got my whole life ahead of me, even if it is just a bit shorter.

Bottom line is just do what makes you happy. Not what makes everyone else happy.

[Lady's Human]

You're 19. You should be "scared of commitment", you're too young.

Go out, have fun, and figure out who you are as well as figuring out what you want in a serious relationship.