Hugs to you on this sad day, Donna. No one should have to die alone, but at the same time "what if's" have no answer. It serves no purpose to continue on that path, and it's time to bury the "what if's" for good.

Write all of these "what if's" down on a piece of paper, and read them over and over again for a few days, or even weeks, then shred or tear that paper into the tiniest pieces possible. Put the pieces in a bag or envelope, and take them with you on a ride to one of your favorite or serene places - like the beach or a wooded path or a park, or even the cemetery where your Dad is buried, if that's possible, and scatter all those pieces of "what if''s" to the wind.

I'll bet your Dad would approve and be very proud of you for doing that. I'm certain he knows that you live with all these "what if's", and he wants you to be free of them.