How to intervene when its unwanted?

[moosmom]

When I first got sober, I had to change EVERYTHING. My lifestyle, the people I hung out with (who said I wouldn't be fun anymore if I didn't drink).

It's a big change. It won't happen overnight. But like everyone here said, unless the family member ADMITS they have a problem and wants help, all you can do is sit back and pray.

[catnapper]

We had a huge family meeting yesterday with most of the family (excluding one person of course) and its the general concensus that they are in big trouble but will NOT listen to anyone, and their reaction is to hurt themself when cornered. They have soooo many people in their history that was GOOD for them and they cut ties once they realized the person was trying to eanact positive change.

Another family member just admitted a drinking problem two or three months ago and is seeking help. They quit their job, moved in with another family member's basement, and cut ties from all friends. This family member is completely lost but knows they have to start from somewhere. They have no idea what they want to do now that they are sober. Going back to school? Staying in the area or moving out of state? so on..... and they are the biggest voice for not confronting the relative. They said the other is not ready and it would be catastrophic because this person's answer to everything is to "punish" people by withdrawling and pushing away at the exact time they need people to help.

I understand the whole concept of enabling. I struggle with it for my husband who has PTSD. Am I enabling him to stay home and hide from the worlkd or am I helping him cope with life? Its an answer the therapist helps us solve. Since I have nothing to do with this family member, I am confident I'm not enabling them! I wish I could say the same thing for hte rest of the family. Some people are huge enablers, others not so much.