I have only lost one cat to not knowing the where and why of his disappearance, over 40 years ago. He was an indoor/outdoor boy who went out one day, and never returned. I know that he's at RB now, but did he go there right after he went missing?? I'll never know. All other cats after him that shared their life with me, were indoor only, as I did not want to revisit that place of uncertainty and unknowing. Then came Sherbie - the stray who came to stay. He was outdoor only, and I never expected him to stay as long as he did, but he truly owned me for 9+ years. I built him a shelter and he got fed at least twice each day without fail, and he in turn rewarded me for caring and loving him. When his health started to fail very rapidly, I felt for sure that he would do the typical "cat thing", and go off to die by himself, and again I would never know how, when, or why. But he didn't, and I feel that he wanted to be with me till the very end. On 6/20, when I knew the end was very near, I took him to the vet so that he could get the eternal rest that he deserved. I thank him for loving me so much that he stayed till the very end, and he was the one who was looking out for me.