Have you ever been viewed differently because of a medical condition? (Rant)

[Alysser]

Karen, that's a really sad story and it's truly heartbreaking. Did they know about it? Do you know what he had? I have never drank excessively and I never plan to. It's not cute, fun or cool to get drunk in my opinion. Drinking is fun once in awhile but people should not be ridiculous about it. I like the response too, thanks for that!

Thanks for the link, it made for an interesting read! I KNOW what my condition is, I was just pretty annoyed when I typed it, and I didn't know if I spelled it correctly. LOL, mrspunkysmom, maybe they jut thought you were a klutz? Or you could have used that as an excuse!

Pomtzu, Deborah is actually the place I went and still go to. I DO get yearly check-ups. Last year, when I turned 18 they gave me the choice of whether I wanted to go or not. Of course, that's only what they said, however I made the choice to go. I do go for that. I guess I should be grateful it's only once a year that I have to go, and not every other month or something. That is a really sad story about your nephew as well. Is that the same thing as what I have? I don't think the lesson of that story only applies to people with issues already, things like that surely can and do happen to everyone.

Cataholic, of course, I'm not a parent. My parents always like to mention that I "don't get it". And maybe I don't....actually no I really DON'T. But the fact is, they don't get what it's like growing up feeling like a freak either. I don't go around telling my friends...that is the last thing I want. I would say, maybe 5 or 6 of my friends know. Only BECAUSE, I am either really close to them (one who knows actually has a heart issue to), my parents have said something or they have seen me in a bikini - kinda hard to hide a scar that way. I guess, I could NOT wear one. But I like them.. I do know it by name, my current status since 1999 has been fine, and I've been going to the same doctors (my old one left for a better position, another did the same, and my current one is newer but very nice). I don't really appreciate being called an idiot. I would have mentioned that the doctor had warned my parents against that, and probably would never have went on, mostly because of my parents. Roller Coasters and other rides are something I've always had access to and was never restricted of. My doctors have said nothing about it or if they did, it's always been that it's fine if I go on it. Believe it or not, that's the truth. There is one ride at Disney my parents don't want me going on, the one where a few kids have died on with underlying unknown heart defects, although I don't know it by name and didn't like it when I did go on it. I went on before those kids died.

Catty, thanks for the links. Believe it or not, I've done some research. I do appreciate it though. I am glad I have some proof right from google to show my friend who doesn't seem to think I can work out. Yes, as said, I do go for yearlys. Honestly, I don't think my doctor COULD get better. The hospital I go to is one of the best in the country for cardiac problems. They get kids from all over the world coming for surgery. I also know, they accept and will work with any insurance which makes them very popular. The hospital is about and hour from me.

Asiel, glad to know some people "get it". I know I can never make my parents stop worrying. We are the same kind of person. As a kid, I was always outside. I tended to pick the hobbies and jobs (past & future ones) that weren't perfect for me. I'm sorry to hear about your problems though but I am glad to hear, you have lived a relatively normal life despite that. And you know what, you are right...I guess I really need to stop caring about what everyone else thinks or what everyone else views me as. I think I've proven myself well above "weak". and If others don't why should I care? That makes a lot of sense.

Sandie, there are plenty of things I wouldn't do because of my heart condition, but would never have done anyway - let's see: Smoking of ANYTHING, Getting black-out drunk, sky-diving, bungee jumping, go into outerspace (despite my old dream of wanting to be an astronaut, and my nerd dream of joining Starfleet )...uh can't think of anything else off the top of my head I'm sure there's a several more things though! In all honestly, I have proven to myself I AM fine and have very minimal limitations. I am trying to convince them, though that's hardly working.

Kirsten, I really don't think I've been over-doing it, ever, and I don't think my parents thought I was. If my mom truly wanted me to not go on a six mile hike, I wouldn't have because I wouldn't have heard the end of it. I told her multiple times how long it was. She only said it after I told her about the trail. I truthfully think my mom and some of my friends are paranoid about certain things. It took me a long time to accept the fact that I had this heart issue, but I finally did. That was when I started trying to prove people wrong even more.

I guess overall, what I am saying is, I get my parents have every right to worry. Maybe even my friends do sometimes, but I think I've shown them what I am capable of doing before and for a long time. I feel that I've been responsible enough, care enough about my well-being, etc. I don't do things they disapprove of very often, I always tell my parents what I am doing before I do it, etc. What I expect from them is just the knowledge that I am not a stupid person. I don't want to die, I DO have self-preservation. But I also want to be me. I want to be able to do the things I love without them getting mad, worried or at least without them expressing this worry to me. I want to be able to hike, bike, work-out and just LIVE without them being paranoid. I grew up sick of doctors telling me what I couldn't or shouldn't do. I did some of them, and maybe I shouldn't have, but the fact is, I've proven myself. I just want to live life the way I've always wanted to, without people worrying/nagging/commenting/whatever you want to call it. All I ask is that I am not treated as an invalid, which I don't think is TOO much to ask.

Woah that was long. Sorry.

[Catty1]

Well goody! I'm glad to hear you don't need a new pulmonary valve - that would be a pain! That's probably because the surgery was done when you were a bit older.

[Karen]

Karen, that's a really sad story and it's truly heartbreaking. Did they know about it? Do you know what he had?

I have forgotten, frankly. His parents and family knew he had a heart condition, and he was not expected to live when he was a baby. But Christopher so wanted to be a "normal" boy and play and run with the other kids ... it was truly tragic. This was many years before you were born, of course, and they know an awful lot more now than they did 35 years ago about the human heart.

Glad you have a sensible attitude about drinking. Also, never ever leave any drink of yours unattended if you are at a bar or a party or any gathering, if you leave the table take it with you, just to be safe. Tell your friends the same thing.

[Cataholic]

Cataholic, of course, I'm not a parent. My parents always like to mention that I "don't get it". And maybe I don't....actually no I really DON'T. But the fact is, they don't get what it's like growing up feeling like a freak either. I don't go around telling my friends...that is the last thing I want. I would say, maybe 5 or 6 of my friends know. Only BECAUSE, I am either really close to them (one who knows actually has a heart issue to), my parents have said something or they have seen me in a bikini - kinda hard to hide a scar that way. I guess, I could NOT wear one. But I like them.. I do know it by name, my current status since 1999 has been fine, and I've been going to the same doctors (my old one left for a better position, another did the same, and my current one is newer but very nice). I don't really appreciate being called an idiot. I would have mentioned that the doctor had warned my parents against that, and probably would never have went on, mostly because of my parents. Roller Coasters and other rides are something I've always had access to and was never restricted of. My doctors have said nothing about it or if they did, it's always been that it's fine if I go on it. Believe it or not, that's the truth. There is one ride at Disney my parents don't want me going on, the one where a few kids have died on with underlying unknown heart defects, although I don't know it by name and didn't like it when I did go on it. I went on before those kids died.

I should have said, "idiotic behaviour"!!! I didn't mean it like, "man, you are a stupid fool". I meant it like, "man, that is some RISKY behaviour"...sorry!

But, overall, after your last novel, I can see that you DO know a lot more about your condition than it sounded in your first post. And, there is NOTHING wrong with wearing a bikini (unless you are me) with a scar. To me, wear it loud, wear it proud. It does tell a story about you. Not a shameful one...but a strong one.

As for drinking, everything in moderation, including moderation. I drink, always have and always will. I really enjoy a glass of wine, and a beer on a hot day (not together, though). I think abstention leads to more problems than not. Not everyone that drinks gets drunk. Not everyone that drinks falls down. Not everyone that drinks only has a good time when drinking.

[Karen]

I think abstention leads to more problems than not.

What do you mean by that? What problem could my abstaining from drinking cause?

[Cataholic]

What do you mean by that? What problem could my abstaining from drinking cause?

I wasn't singling out anyone.

In general, as a 'theory', I don't think abstaining works. I think it leads to binge drinking, to hiding drinking, to glamorizing drinking, to demonizing drinking. Drinking isn't the problem, addiction is the problem.

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

[Alysser]

No, it's okay, maybe I just read your post wrong. I see what you mean now. I probably should have also explained that the doctors had no problems with roller coasters.

Anyway, I agree 100% with moderation. I've seen my friends get black-out drunk at parties, and it's just so dumb and in my mind, maybe just mine, but irresponsible. They always text me the next day telling me they regret. But that's not what you were saying when I tried to stop you.

LOL, yeah I did write a novel! I tried to answer everyones post all at once.

[Karen]

I wasn't singling out anyone.

In general, as a 'theory', I don't think abstaining works. I think it leads to binge drinking, to hiding drinking, to glamorizing drinking, to demonizing drinking. Drinking isn't the problem, addiction is the problem.

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

Oh, okay! I guess what you mean is "Preaching abstinence leads to problems."

I don't drink, but don't make a fuss about it, and know my decision is mine alone. What works for me doesn't necessarily work for everyone! And I don't binge drink, hide drinking, glamorize or demonize drinking or any of the other things you list!

[Cataholic]

Oh, okay! I guess what you mean is "Preaching abstinence leads to problems."

I don't drink, but don't make a fuss about it, and know my decision is mine alone. What works for me doesn't necessarily work for everyone! And I don't binge drink, hide drinking, glamorize or demonize drinking or any of the other things you list!

Actually, I mean abstinence...LOL. Most people do not 'abstain' from much in life. That whole all or nothing theory does not sit well with me, at all.

And, FWIW? I have never, ever thrown up on a single person in my life, and have never witnessed another person (with the exception of a sick child) do so, either. You must have ran around with some real winners!

[Karen]

Actually, I mean abstinence...LOL. Most people do not 'abstain' from much in life. That whole all or nothing theory does not sit well with me, at all.

And, FWIW? I have never, ever thrown up on a single person in my life, and have never witnessed another person (with the exception of a sick child) do so, either. You must have ran around with some real winners!

Remember, I went to the Massachusetts College of Art - so not exactly your normal cross-section of humanity!

[mrspunkysmom]

As for drinking, everything in moderation, including moderation. I drink, always have and always will. I really enjoy a glass of wine, and a beer on a hot day (not together, though). I think abstention leads to more problems than not. Not everyone that drinks gets drunk. Not everyone that drinks falls down. Not everyone that drinks only has a good time when drinking.

My favorite quote. I use it a lot. Every now and then you have to let it rip, be extreme to one end or another. I got plastered once in my mid twenties. I just drank too fast. I was sick all night. It was horrible. After I starting feeling better my first thought was, "and they did this every weekend?"

I miss alcohol a little bit right now. The celiac disease limits what I can drink but the heart medicines mean nothing for a while. It's an easy decision. I think I miss soda more.

Be reasonable about what you can do, Alysser. We would like you to hang around for a while with us.

[Miss Z]

Since the standpoint of a parent has already been elaborated upon, perhaps I can offer the standpoint of a friend!

Alyssa, you may feel that your friends are being a little patronising, and quite rightly so, since it's never nice to be made to feel inferior whether it's intentional or not. However, your friends are more than likely thinking about the implications should anything go wrong.

I have two friends with underlying conditions, which could potentially be quite serious should they act against the doctor's orders. If I'm concerned about them, I let them know. If they tell me that there's no need to worry, and honestly mean it, then the conversation stops there. But the reason that I ask in the first place is to be sure that my friend isn't being too blasé with respect to their condition.

This is because I would HATE for something to, firstly, happen at all, and secondly, to hear from their family post said incident: 'And you didn't say anything?' I think that's the worst of it. Call it self-preservation if you will, but I personally couldn't deal with that kind of guilt!

[Miss Z]

Remember, I went to the Massachusetts College of Art - so not exactly your normal cross-section of humanity!

Vets are just as bad, if not worse... our latest summer ball was truly an embarrassment. Be careful whom you take you pets to!

I like the 'everything in moderation' phrase too, and often apply it to drinking. Yet, being a vegetarian, I suppose I don't really have the right to use it... We all abstain from something or other!