I can understand how you feel . I was born with a heart murmur and a few other serious conditions. One condition the doctor kept from my parents, he was the kind of doctor who tried to protect patients and the family. This doctor was quite old fashioned so he thought he was doing what was best...as he later admitted, I had the issues and nothing could change or help and he thought that keeping quiet about it would be less stressful for my parents. Of course he put restrictions on just about everything . Fortunately I wasn't the kind of person who could just sit around, I had to be moving . As I grew up I joined a baseball team, got into riding, skating, skiing, swimming, and of course climbing trees like every normal tomboy will do. I know my mom found it hard sometimes and she would worry a lot but we always came to a compromise. Like accepting early bedtimes imposed by the doctor, coming home for lunch so I could nap before heading back to school, a 30 minute rest after school, and not getting cranky when I was bedridden or had to take time off school for a few weeks. My dad was the one who talked my mom into letting me live a normal life and he was the one who could help wash away her worries and that helped so much. I think the quietest times in my life was during the summer at the cottage when I would go fishing with my dad almost every morning ,my mom was thrilled that I would be sitting in a boat for a few hours. Growing up none of my friends treated me differently, some did wonder why I got sick so may times but kids take things like that in stride.
As I got older the conditions worsened and one day I ran into major trouble , the pieces had to start being put together, we were all shocked finding out everything but I soon forgot about it and continued with my life. Then I got another diagnosis that took a few yrs to really sink in. This curtailed my life in different ways but I found ways to cope and while living a different life with more restrictions I just found different, quieter hobbies out of necessity and things turned out great. I retired from a job I loved earlier than I would have but I still kept doing some work from home, thankful to my bosses for that. Very few people know of my health issues , I do land in the hospital quite often but when that happens I'm only allowed close family, no other visitors so that keeps anyone from finding out anything, I always find ways to fill in the gaps.Often I just say I had to go out of town and no one is the wiser. Do friends and relatives treat me differently, not really. Some are quite nervous when around me but I laugh them out of it and they don't push the issue so we continue having good times, a few have asked outright about some symptoms and I do admit them but they take it in stride and never treat me like I should be bubble wrapped . For the most part most of my issues are invisible so even if I sometimes have to take time outs no one questions it. The few who do know what all my issues are do worry and get nervous but that gets thrown to the wayside after a few minutes of our getting together.I find that just being myself helps people treat me as they always have. Some things were unavoidable , if the ambulance keeps picking you up neighbors are bound to ask questions, most of our neighbors knew some of my issues but they never acted differently, matter of fact they were very helpful especially with our kids. We moved to the country some yrs ago and of course even with distance between neighbors they do spot an ambulance but again no one ever treats me different.
Not long ago my doctor discussed a pacemaker, I don't think I could ever go for that. Thinking about it a pacemaker is the same as being kept alive by a machine, something I would never want--- time will tell I guess.
So Alysser, cheer up, your real friends won't treat you differently unless you dwell on your health. Those that choose to act differently might not be the kind of friends you need around you. Do I hate hospitals, you bet. But your health issues don't make you different or weaker than anyone else...
It's all in the way you think of yourself.