Oh Ellie, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. You sure know how to write a good story!

Hope the knot goes away and doesn't need to be drained.

I wore contacts for 20 years (never had glasses before that and didn't buy glasses until 3 years later, ha haa). I quit those when I got the first dog (Sugar), at that time I also had to move to different scripts for near and far. I've had glasses since. I couldn't find what I prefer on zenni either. I use graduated lenses (not trifocals, which I would need otherwise) with tint and color changing for sunlight. Mine were close to $425. I miss the freedom of contacts, though.