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Thread: Need opinions

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2002
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    Need opinions

    You guys are my family and I trust your judgement.

    I've been friends with Stephanie, who I met while working at the Hartford Courant. I used to cat sit for her when she went away, and would babysit for Brady whenever she needed me. I was there when Brady was very sick and she needed sleep to be able to not miss work. I'd pick Brady up at daycare when he had a runny nose or whenver.

    They moved into a new apartment back in August. I watched Brady every single Sunday for six months until she got a new job. We would text each other all the time. I sent her a text congratulating her on the job. I sent her another one asking her how the job was going. NOTHING.

    I hadn't heard from her in over two months. No phone calls, no texts, NOTHING. I emailed her and asked if she was mad at me for something. I told her I realized she must be busy with her new job and just wanted to know how they're doing.

    Her reply was "Busy with work, can't get on FB at work, and don't have time at night. Upset that a bunch of jewelry I inherited from my Mother, that was supposed to go to Brady, is missing. I'm upset and very sad."

    I told her how sorry I was, and could it have possibly been misplaced during the move?? I said I hope she finds it.

    Haven't heard from her since.

    So, what's YOUR take on this??? I feel like she's accusing me, in a roundabout way. I'm very upset by this. I wish she would come right out and ask me.

    My friend Pam said, "See how sad she feels when she's in need of a babysitter at the last minute."

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    I'm with your friend, Moosmom. You did her a huge favor by caring for Brady and cat-sitting. In response she breaks off almost all contact and insinuates that the missing jewelry might be with you-- someone she trusted enough to look after Brady and her cat?! Some friend . She should be showing her gratitude for all the help you provided to her .


    (((HUGS)))),
    elyse
    Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

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    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
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    Windham, Vermont, USA
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    It doesn't sounds like she's accusing you to me, I'd send her another message saying you know she's very busy and everything, is there some time you could meet up for a cup of tea? And then you could bring it up, and see what she says. If she had said "When you were cat-sitting, my mom's jewelry went missing" THAT might sound like an accusation. But it sounds to me like maybe that JUSt happened when she sent you the note, so that's what was on her mind at the moment, not that it had anything to do with you, but she needed to vent to a friend.
    I've Been Frosted

  4. #4
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    Mar 2004
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    california
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    In either case its no way to treat a dear friend. She trusted you with her most precious thing, her son...

    She needs to be nicer!
    don't breed or buy while shelter dogs die....

    I have been frosted!

    Thanks Kfamr for the signature!


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
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    indianapolis,indiana usa
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karen View Post
    It doesn't sounds like she's accusing you to me, I'd send her another message saying you know she's very busy and everything, is there some time you could meet up for a cup of tea? And then you could bring it up, and see what she says. If she had said "When you were cat-sitting, my mom's jewelry went missing" THAT might sound like an accusation. But it sounds to me like maybe that JUSt happened when she sent you the note, so that's what was on her mind at the moment, not that it had anything to do with you, but she needed to vent to a friend.


    I agree with Karen on this. Sounds like she is pretty stressed by other things right now. I wouldn't take anything she says personally.
    I've Been Boo'd

    I've been Frosted






    Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    Litter Box, Greenville, SC
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizbud View Post
    I agree with Karen on this. Sounds like she is pretty stressed by other things right now. I wouldn't take anything she says personally.
    She may also not know who she can trust. That's a bad feeling. And if she has other stressors, it just makes it even harder. It will take her time. She might also feel bad about dumping on you and just isn't ready to deal with the introspection she needs to do.
    Anne
    Meowmie to Lucy Lou and Barney, and Aunt to Timmy (RIP)

    Former kitties now in foster care: Nellie aka Eleanor van Fluffytail (at a Cat Cafe), Lady Jane Grey, Bob the Bobtail, and Callie. Kimi has been adopted into another family that understands Siamese. HRH Oliver Woodrow von Katz is in a Sanctuary.

    I'm Homeless, but with resources, and learning to live again.


    RIP Timmy (nephew kitty) May 17, 2018, Mr. Spunky (May 10, 2017), Samwise (Dec 2, 2014), Emily (Oct 8, 2013), Rose (Sept 24, 2001), Maggie (Fall 2003)

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrspunkysmom View Post
    She may also not know who she can trust. That's a bad feeling. And if she has other stressors, it just makes it even harder. It will take her time. She might also feel bad about dumping on you and just isn't ready to deal with the introspection she needs to do.

    Very true, I agree.
    I've Been Boo'd

    I've been Frosted






    Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    Your friend Pam is taking the wrong attitude about this. I don't think your friend is accusing you of taking the jewellery, like others have mentioned, she sounds buried under a load of stress right now. Sending her another message and showing your concern, asking if there is anything you can do to help etc...would probably help clear the air and it would also serve to show you have no idea about the missing things.
    Asiel

    I've been frosted--- thank you Cassie'smom

    I've been Boo'd----

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
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    San Ramon,CA
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    The thing I hate most about technology is the human aspect. There's no way to tell from a text, email, tweet or any post what the true meaning is. Nuance is lost. I say pick up the phone and leave her a message asking if you can help. Tell her she sounds stressed and you are sorry about that. There's alot of humanity in hearing a voice.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
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    Los Angeles, CA USA
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    This kept coming up in the back of my mind...........you mentioned that she had moved several months back and your problem has been going on with her for several months as well (or months since she mentioned that the jewelry is missing).

    Is it possible that she has the jewelry still packed up in a box and has forgotten - especially as she moved and then was busy looking for a job?

    Why in the world would anyone steal jewelry from a good friend? They wouldn't, so I say, stay with her and it will be resolved. She may have to apologize to you.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2002
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    I texted her and Brady a Happy Easter. I got Brady a cute little fishing rod with magnetic fishies. She texted back and wished me a happy holiday and said we need to get together soon.

    I was wrong. I guess I kind of blew things outta proportion. Kitten645, you're right. It's VERY difficult to read someone's text messages when something like this happens. I can't wait to see them. It's been a while and I miss him a lot.

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
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    20,177
    Oh, I'm so glad to read how nicely this has worked out! Isn't that wonderful not to have lost such good friends after all?!
    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

    -- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery

  13. #13
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    I think your friend was a little overwhelmed with everything and quite frustrated that she most likely misplaced her own jewelry. She was probably venting with misplaced anger. Sounds like she is getting used to her new routine now and adjusting accordingly so she's not so over whelmed now. Let it go and ask if she remembers packing her jewelry, if she hasn't already found it that is.

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