I'm sorry for your loss. like the others said everyone grieves different.
I'm sorry you weren't there with your baby but he knows you loved him and you took
good care of him for eight years. He will be waiting for you at the rainbow bridge.
He was a beautiful big boy!
I don't want to upset you but are you having him cremated?

When i lost my kitten I cried everydayfor a month straight.

I ended up getting another kitten only because my other cat stopped eating.
she lost about 2 pounds and she was looking all over the house for the kitten.
They didn't get along but she was grieving for her too.
The new kitten didn't take her place but she helped both me and the cat heal.

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this sad time.