Darned Humans

[cassiesmom]

Oh, Patch, it's a Bad, Bad world even for outdoor kitties, wise to the ways of the world. Your humans are protecting you and keeping you safe. They would miss you terribly.

Respectfully,
Jane, Lady Grey
The Blue-Gray Cat, who has no desire to visit the outside again.

Dear Patch,

I couldn't agree with Lady Grey more. I was an outdoor kitty once. You can keep an eye on your kingdom by looking out the windows or the door. Indoors is much safer. Maybe your family can help you go outside safely if you wear a leash. My late fur-cousin Poco used to do that. But I am not interested in going outside again either. My human and I are so glad you are safe!

Sincerely,
Cassie

[smokey the elder]

Dear Patch, please remember that "having something is often not as satisfying as wanting it....it's illogical but often true!" I'm glad you're safe and sound!

[snakemama]

Hi Patch!

My humans are just as illogical about the whole outside thing. I try and try to be quiet and sneaky when they open the door, but I'm neven smeaky enough.

TWICE I've made it all the way out the door, only to be captured and put back inside.

Now my meowmie keeps a SCARY HISSING CAN THING by the door to scare me with then they are coming and going. It's so unfair!

Meowmie says something about "cars" and "raccoons" and fleas and a very busy intersection, but I think she just wants to keep all the outside fun to herself.

The dog says outside is lots of fun. I'm almost a growed-up cat, I should be able to decide for myself!!

Headbumpies,
Kyubey

[Lady's Human]

Yeah, the big human keeps telling me I'm lucky I didn't become Coyote chow, but I know I'm big enough to deal with any mangy Coyote. Sorry to hear about teh scary hissing can thing, that just doesn't sound like any fun at all.

And I'm STILL!!!!! putting my fur back in place, I still don't smell right........but I miss laps too much, so I'm talking to the big humans again. I'm too much of a sucker for a good scritch.

[Lady's Human]

Why do Humans enjoy torturing kitties and laughing at us?

These things they call "windows" are just a torture device for cats.

My humans live out in the sticks, whatever sticks are. They say that when they're telling other humans where they live. Evidently this involves built in torture for us felines, and great amusement for the humans.

I can see the birds through these kitty torture devices, but I just CAN'T get to them. They fly around the house, teasing me. When the windows are open, and I press my head up against the screen, I can see the birds going into their homes. But no matter how hard I try, I just can't get them.

The worst part is that when I get really wrapped up in trying to get to the birds, I forget how skinny the ledges under these "window" things are......and I fall off. The big humans say they let the birdnests stay because the birds eat bugs, but I don't buy it for a second. They just want to laugh at me while I'm trying to get to them.

Can someone help me understand these two legged kitty torturers??????

PLEASE????

[Karen]

Oh, Patch, you have my sympathies, but i bet you don't like getting mosquito bites any more than I do ... birdies EAT skeeters!

[Lady'sOtherHuman]

Poor Patch, you're just having a rough month aren't you?