Darned Humans

[katladyd]

Pathch, outside ain't as good as you think it is. My old owners used to throw me outside with no food and water and be gone for DAYS! I had to find my own food and water and that was HARD! I had to roam around the neighborhood and find my way inside of houses that had cats so I could get their food. Most of the time I was discovered by their Meowmie and thrown right back outside. Then, one day, one of the Meowmies took me with her to her wurk and gave me to my present Meowmie who loves me very much. I get free fed, treats on demand, loves and pets, and so many soft places to take a cat nap! She also bought me a drinking fountain that gives me real nice tasting water whenever I want. Patch, INSIDE RULES!!!!
Your friend,
MacGyver

[momcat]

Hi Patch,
Sometimes our hoomins can be hard to figure out especially when they insist we stay inside. But we have to remember how lucky we are to have them. They feed us, take care of us, and keep us safe from things that can hurt us or make us sick. They give us a nice, warm place to live unlike our fellow kitties that have to get by all alone because they don't have hoomins who love them. Please stay inside where you're safe and most of all loved!

Your friend,
Groucho

[Edwina's Secretary]

Dear Patch,

Oh the indignity! Am I the only feline who understands the horror and humiliation to which you have been subjected???? If my humans even THOUGHT to put water on me....

I suggest you do what I do when offended.

One "present" - just one. Make sure you put it in a place that makes it difficult to see. I prefer under a table - on a patterned rug or - if I am truly inspired - on a patterned rug under a table.

It is very fun to watch them try and figure out how long it has been there...

Do take the treats though. You must keep up your strength...

Edwina/es

[Lady's Human]

Edwina,

It's nice to see someone who understands.

I wish I could resist the call of the lap covered by the fuzzy blanket, but I can't. I spent yesterday afternoon stretched out in the big human's lap. When he got up I moved over to the softer lap, which isn't as long but it does in a pinch. I just can't resist the urge to fill a lap.

Thanks for the suggestion about revenge.........I think I know what I'll do with the next mouse I play with.

Maybe I can convince the big humans that I would do a really good job mole hunting in the garden this summer.