Ellie-mae will be leaving me today....

[carole]

Thank you both, appreciate your kind words of love and support.

It is so strange, in some ways i just want the time to come and it be over for her and me, no more suffering for her, and the stress of watching her suffer, but the other part of me never wants the time to come, because i have to say goodbye and that is so very painful to do,such a horrible feeling isn't it?

[ChrisH]

I understand perfectly Carole, that's just how I felt with Bobs, and yes it is a horrible feeling, horrible and so very sad.{{hugs}}

[cassiesmom]

((((HUGS)))) for Carole and Ellie-Mae,

Elyse

[Grace]

I'm so very sorry - (((((hugs for all of you)))))

[sallyandsnowx]

I have been following Ellie Mae's story for awhile now. Even though it was difficult, you did the best thing for her. She is now up in Heaven playing with the angels.

Rest in peace, sweet sweet Ellie Mae.

[Barbara]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know your pain. It is something we have to do for our babies when the time comes but it is so hard.

[3Catcondo]

I am so sorry for your loss. I read this entire thread and I have started to cry. The pain we feel when we lose a beloved fur child is deep and leaves a huge hole in our hearts. She was a pretty girl, and now she is at peace, whole and pain free. Sending healing thoughts to you during this difficult time.

Amy

[carole]

Oh thank you all from the bottom of my heart, the lovely words expressed here are just amazing and so comforting to me, i thank you all for taking the time to come here and post them,i will treasure them forever.

Today has been hard, getting up was the worst, not finding her there to greet me, yes looking after a terminally ill patient is very emotionally and physically demanding,but when it all ends you just want it to be like that again, i know in time it will make life easier, but truthfully i would rather have my wee girl back.

Every morning, i had to mash her food up, heat it in the microwave, and then pat and stroke, her and talk to her to encourage her to eat, for over two years now first with her mouth problem and then the cancer,then one had to use the fork to push up a bit so she could eat it easier, Ellie always responded to the pats and chats, even in the last few days, i would sit right beside her, and say come on sweetie you can do it,and she would eat for me, even just a little, i felt she did it just to please me,especially in those last days.

I finished decorating her box this morning, and when my daughter gets home to say her goodbyes, and put her messages there i will post a pic of her before we bury her out in the courtyard, she will be in a place that i saved for her, i had it in my mind all a long,but did not want to share it, as i just kept hoping Ellie would beat this, although she tried, and my gosh she tried so hard, a real little fighter with so much spirit ,alas it was not to be.
She will be so close beside me, i have a table and chairs right beside where her grave will be and it is by my chair.

I am so fortunate to have such caring friends here that understand so well how i feel, i also have a close friend who has been ringing me with support, my hubby is great, a facebook friend wonderful, and my mother came over to hug me and see Ellie,even those who don't really understand quite the same as we do here, are kind because they love me and hate seeing me in pain.

I also wanted to say i am so sorry for others who have posted here, that the pain of loosing their beloved furbaby is still so raw, and i hope in time you will feel better, time does heal, but it takes it's time.

I am worried about Nikkita, i am not sure if she is a bit off colour at the moment, but she is also sad, i can see it, i feel so much for her poor furbaby, this is her mama, she has been with her all her life, she has had a few sniffs of her , but that is all,but she just looks sad, and is being a bit odd,a bit distance, but i just give her lots of cuddles and love.

I made the decision not to replace any of my furbabies as they pass on a while ago, financially it has been extremely difficult and i just want the best for any kitty i have, we have done as best we could, and i don't out rule owning one cat, but it will be either none or just one,also the emotional toll on me has just been too much,don't think i can take much more, two kitties lost in two years.

I am already thinking about the lovely memories i have of my special girl, how when she first came here, I would hear this unusual chirpy loud noise outside, and i would find Ellie outside with a stick or maybe a sausage, gosh knows where she got that from, she was letting me see it, so funny, she also used to follow me and stay outside the bathroom when i was having a bath, and start her miaowing, i often just had to let her in to see me, this was in the much earlier days, most of these she has stopped in later years,how she used to just sit there and stare at me constantly until i got up and fed her,this was in the later years when the steriods made her constantly hungry, i never could feed her enough then.I remember how an easily stressed wee cat she was, hated thunder, storms ,guy fawkes, always wanted outside at these times, because she was a complete outdoor kitty when i rescued her, she saw outside as her safe haven, but after a year or two she finally realised inside was the safest place to be.

I also remember the day i was really sick, how she jumped up on the bed sat very near my head and went to sleep, this was most unlike her as she was not one to snuggle up on the bed with you, i think she sensed it , she was a very sensitive cat and she came to comfort me,in fact i am convinced of it.

Yes Ellie was different to any other cat i have ever owned or known,she was very very special, i will miss her so much, i just still not imagine how life will be without her, just sad and hard, but i know in time things will heal, she will never be forgotten and is within my heart and memories forever.

GOODBYE my gorgeous girl, until we meet again my precious girl, LOVE YOU FOREVER.

[cool4catz2]

Thank you both, appreciate your kind words of love and support.

It is so strange, in some ways i just want the time to come and it be over for her and me, no more suffering for her, and the stress of watching her suffer, but the other part of me never wants the time to come, because i have to say goodbye and that is so very painful to do,such a horrible feeling isn't it?

Its the worst. I remember my ex building a small wooden box to bury our beloved cat in that was so, so, sick. We were getting prepared as best we could for the awful time to take her to the vet. We cried each time we saw her try to get up and walk. She was so weak and barely had a B/P when we got her to the wonderful vet who cared for her through the years. We all know what you're going through and like you say, when you look in their eyes you know its time to help them over the bridge. Take care. You have my deepest sympathy, Carole.

~~

[phesina]

Oh, Carole, I am so very sorry. Such a hard decision to make, after the two of you have already been through so much together.

I wish I could reach out around the world and hug you so tightly. My cats and I are all sending you love and prayers for peace and comfort. You are giving Ellie-mae the best gift you can give her now, as you have always given her your best and most loving gifts.

The love that you and Ellie-mae share is eternal, and you are together always. She will be healthy and whole and happy again at the Bridge, waiting there with Ash to welcome you home, One Fine Day.

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} and ~~~~~~~PURRS~~~~~~~ and ,
Pat, Sydney, Poppy, Elmer, Bob, Sparkler, Lavinia, and Poppaea Sabina

[Catty1]

Gentle hugs and shoulders for you to cry on. You have done as much and more for her as you could. She will live on in your heart and memory until you meet again One Fine Day.

Some day you will be able to smile at silly things she did, and remember happier times.

[kaycountrygal]

I am so sorry that Ellie-Mae cannot get better. You really are doing what is best for her so she won't have to suffer any more... but I know it is so hard. I got tears reading about it. ((Hugs)) Kay

[Scooter's Mom]

I've just gotten home from work and saw this.
I am so sorry, Carole. Ellie-Mae is a beautiful girl and you've done everything you could do to keep her healthy. ((Hugs)) and prayers go out to you from across the miles.

[carole]

thanks so much everyone, all i can do is come here and look at your threads, i cannot concentrate very well to do much else, time is getting closer and my stomach is in knots, i have taken some gastrosoothe to help with that.

She is drinking a lot of water, but apart from that, she has that not there look and sleeps with her eyes open some of the time, her eyes look glazed and i think it is pain, so i just want the time to come in that way for her, the ride there will be just awful for her, and me too, and then the wait, oh gosh i have played this scene over in my head so many times, just hoping it will be over for her soon.

oh my gosh she just came up the stairs to see me,gorgeous wee girl she is,did not think she would have the energy, another water bowl up here so she is sitting close by it and probably will have a drink hopefully.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Oh Carole...my heart breaks for you...Godpseed Ellie-mae, godspeed...