Hubby is a cat person (he has a cat), but he doesn't baby his cats the way I do. I talk in baby talk and treat Izzy really gently, while he has a deep voice and more gruff demeanor. I think this might be part of the problem, but his efforts to speak in baby talk, etc. just don't work.

I'm pretty sure he did do something to inadvertently traumatize her, but it was so long ago that we are at a loss as to why she can't seem to get over it.

Don't worry, I won't give up. The situation's just gotten more stressful now that we all live together, and I'm desperate to figure out a way to make it better. But patience is probably the best approach.