For wombat - Aussie jokes

[wombat2u2004]

Hey Carole, have you ever been across the ditch ???

[wombat2u2004]

St. Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two Kiwis arrive.

St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said "Wait here. I will be right back."

St. Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance.

God says to Peter: "How many times do I have to tell you, you can't be judgmental here. This is Heaven. All are loved. All are brothers.
Go back and let them in!"

St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh.

He returns to God's chambers and says "Well, they're gone."

"Who, the two Kiwi guys?" asked God.

"No... The Pearly Gates."

[carole]

He He Wom, yes Wom i have been to Sydney, but that was like when i was about 20, which is a very long time ago, however i loved it,beautiful city, was only there on a shopping three day trip with the Navy Civilians and Navy staff, i was an office worker at the Naval Base here then,and they put on these cheap trips, i was lucky enough to score one very cheap, as the person could not go, got it for less than the price of the accomodation, including my flights, i remember we had to stay in Kings Cross, as our other hotel had some water damage, or something like that,now Wom being a very naive 20 yr old, Kings Cross was surely an eye opener for me.

My extended family are regular visitors to the Gold Coast Queensland,and i am hoping one day to make it over there for a holiday,gorgeous place.

Have friends in Bunbury,and perth,so Wom what part are you from again?

[wombat2u2004]

He He Wom, yes Wom i have been to Sydney, but that was like when i was about 20, which is a very long time ago, however i loved it,beautiful city, was only there on a shopping three day trip with the Navy Civilians and Navy staff, i was an office worker at the Naval Base here then,and they put on these cheap trips, i was lucky enough to score one very cheap, as the person could not go, got it for less than the price of the accomodation, including my flights, i remember we had to stay in Kings Cross, as our other hotel had some water damage, or something like that,now Wom being a very naive 20 yr old, Kings Cross was surely an eye opener for me.

My extended family are regular visitors to the Gold Coast Queensland,and i am hoping one day to make it over there for a holiday,gorgeous place.

Have friends in Bunbury,and perth,so Wom what part are you from again?

Ahhhh....the Cross eh ???? That place is an eye opener even for the most seasoned Aussies to. I've been there many times, and reckon I have a decent story about each time....hee hee....it's a wild place alright.
I have a photo that was taken circa 1971 of myself and my fiance at "Les Girls" at the Cross.......don't laugh....she was a Kiwi...HAH !!!! I'll get it scanned and posted for you to see.

I'm in Armidale, the highest city in Oz, up on the New England plateau in north eastern NSW. It's a great place to live, no industry here, it's a regional education and pastoral city....lots of private colleges and a pretty big university. So the population varies a lot during schools in/schools out times.
People say it's the best place in Oz to bring up kids....I'd have to agree with that.

Yeah, get yourself up to the Gold Coast, that's a cool place, lots to do up there.

[wombat2u2004]

The New Zealand Navy in Action

[Grace]

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
_______________________________________________


Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France)

A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA)

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

[wombat2u2004]

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
_______________________________________________


Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France)

A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA)

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Hee hee. They are all very funny, thanks for sending them.
But I can imagine the questions that are asked, and the crazy Aussie answers given....it must happen all of the time.
I can remember selling our spare army slouch hats to GI's in Vietnam, we told them they were made out of kangaroo feather felt. And I had a mate who swapped a pair of our boots (they are leather, but he told the yank they were toughened Emu skin) for a jeep.
I don't know how we ever kept straight faces doing stuff like that, but we did...hee hee.