My dad's lost his mind.....here we go again

[Freedom]

but the voices in his head told him she had been there. .... He clearly has issues and is in the best place he can be for them.

I had to explain to my mom how to pump gas last night though. She's 70 and never had to do it herself, dad always did it. Hopefully she was successful.

My mom had a conversation with the doctor evaluating my dad. He feels sorry for him, says he's suffering, has "mood" swings. Really dude, where'd you get your degree, a cereal box. The man says "they" shine lasers in his eyes, he has 3 voices in his head and he has mood swings!!! He was crawling on his belly with a GUN!!! It would seem they're going to decide to ship him home next week, they have Thursday "hearings" to determine who stays and who goes. Who's going to be responsible if this idiot lets my dad out and he hurts or kills someone! OMG I am so angry, disappointed, upset!!! He has rights and can't be forced to take medication. I had hopes they could actually help him.

Gayle, is this what the doc told YOU, or how your Mum described it?

I've been through similar w/ a close family member (not my Dad). Just because they have periodic hearings -- which is proper procedure and the law here in USA -- does NOT mean they are releasing him. Just now, if I understand it, your Dad has been involuntarily held, as an emergency case. They've had time to evaluate him, and mean time the law says now time to see if he can be released. To me, the fact that the Doc said he is suffering, has mood swings, etc. means they have found reason to hold your Dad.

Apparently they've ID'd a med they want to try and your Dad doesn't want to take it. That is every person's right -- and again, a person who is a danger to himself and / or others who won't take their meds WILL NOT be released.

Much as it is a worry to your Mum having the phone calls, that is all evidence that adds up to why, at the hearing, the medical folks will advise keeping him.

Prayers continue for all of you.

[Queen of Poop]

My counsellor suggested I phone the doctor. But that plan's on hold for right now. My mom had a call from dad's social worker yesterday and is on her way to the hospital right now to take him some clothes and to see the social worker and doctor, as well as my dad. She's now taking the stance that he cannot come home if he's not medicated. She is not willing to take responsiblity for his actions. He is refusing meds. His first hearing time has been moved and won't now be until September 1st (ironically that's his 72nd birthday).

[Karen]

He is refusing meds. His first hearing time has been moved and won't now be until September 1st (ironically that's his 72nd birthday).

I am glad they moved the hearing back. I hope someone can get to the root of what's causing this, but at least you and your mom can rest a bit easier for now.

[Freedom]

She's now taking the stance that he cannot come home if he's not medicated. She is not willing to take responsiblity for his actions. He is refusing meds.

I wonder if they have a diagnosis, yet?

Some mental illnesses, the illness itself prevents the person taking meds. Schizophrenia is one of those - the person so believes they are all right and the world it out to get them, that they won't take meds. Folks with that diagnosis, in general, have a very low success rate at taking their meds. Too bad as, on the meds, they are often high functioning.

The Social Worker is doing her job. Again, hugs all around (yes, even to your Dad, as this is the illness talking, not the man you and your mom have known for years).

[Catty1]

Freedom - thanks for saying it is the illness talking. So true.

Gayle, I hope your mom taking a stand about your dad not coming home unless he is on medication sets him straight about that. It must be really hard for her - even though she had such a terrifying time.

More prayers for all of you.

[mrspunkysmom]

I can't say much, but stay strong. You have my prayers.

[beeniesmom]

Some mental illnesses, the illness itself prevents the person taking meds. Schizophrenia is one of those - the person so believes they are all right and the world it out to get them, that they won't take meds.

I was very close with a person who had a 'schizophrenic episode', as the doctors called it. It's more common in men then women.
He spent some time in a hospital and was able to go home after a few months. I don't rememebr what medication they gave him, but it took many months for his 'voices' and hallucinations to go away. It was all so sudden. We were good friends and saw each other every day. It happened one day before mass started in church of all places; he just got up, ran to the alter and started saying he was Jesus Christ and that he had to save everyone. My friend and I thought he was joking around at first and were quite embarrassed... but he was very serious. We had to drag him off and took him home. When his unstable behaviour continued, his parents took him to the hospital. They never found out what happened to trigger the behavior. It's been years since I've seen or heard from him (since getting married). The last I heard he had just gotten married himself and was leading a normal life.
I hope things resolve themselves with your dad. It's very hard to see a loved one go through this. hugs

[Queen of Poop]

Sorry for making everyone wait for an update.

Finally, we know what is wrong. More or less. Schizophrenia. But my dad's not typical. He's been able to hold a job, have a marriage and a family (sort of) and is highly intelligent.

He's on meds, but only 1 mg. It will take a considerable amount of time to work him up to probably 6 mg.

His latest things are: the voices have told him my mom is dead, that the woman who calls is an imposter, that their house burned down, that someone is putting something in the food. The doctor is trying to convince him that the food is safe and so far he's still eating. They are going to give him escorted walks very soon as they don't consider him a "runner", he's too old and in poor shape.

My mom is having trouble accepting that he may not come home, that no amount of meds will make him safe to be out.

Thanks everyone for your support with this. I do pass along the comments to my mom when we chat on the phone. She is amazed by our community and the kindness that is shared.

[Kirsten]

Sorry for making everyone wait for an update.

Finally, we know what is wrong. More or less. Schizophrenia. But my dad's not typical. He's been able to hold a job, have a marriage and a family (sort of) and is highly intelligent.

He's on meds, but only 1 mg. It will take a considerable amount of time to work him up to probably 6 mg.

His latest things are: the voices have told him my mom is dead, that the woman who calls is an imposter, that their house burned down, that someone is putting something in the food. The doctor is trying to convince him that the food is safe and so far he's still eating. They are going to give him escorted walks very soon as they don't consider him a "runner", he's too old and in poor shape.

My mom is having trouble accepting that he may not come home, that no amount of meds will make him safe to be out.

Thanks everyone for your support with this. I do pass along the comments to my mom when we chat on the phone. She is amazed by our community and the kindness that is shared.

I'm sorry about that. Sounds difficult - for him, and for everyone involved. How horrible and scary it must be to have these voices in your head, telling you all these terrible things... I really hope the meds will bring some relief.

Is it that kind of schizophrenia that's related to age? He didn't show any signs of it when he was younger, did he?

Keeping you all in my thoughts... (((hugs)))

[Catty1]

It is something of a relief, I suppose, to have a diagnosis.

I pray that the meds can slowly increase and that they work well for your dad. To have those constant thoughts in your head is not fun, either. Prayers for healing and peace for you all.

[Freedom]

Sorry for making everyone wait for an update.

Finally, we know what is wrong. More or less. Schizophrenia. But my dad's not typical. He's been able to hold a job, have a marriage and a family (sort of) and is highly intelligent.

My mom is having trouble accepting that he may not come home, that no amount of meds will make him safe to be out.

Having the diagnosis is very helpful in treatment, and for the family to understand a bit of what is going on with him.

I am sure this is hard for your mum to adjust to, such a big unexpected change. She probably figured they'd go on until one of them dropped dead, or had to go to a nursing home. Just vague "sometime in the future" stuff. Suddenly, as with any chronic illness, the future has changed plus has arrived, all at once. It does take time to wrap your head around such suddenness. It's not just that, but all the things she had planned for them together are now gone, as well. Give her time, let her talk. You also will feel all sorts of things, and need to as well.

Sometimes, understanding the illness helps, sometimes knowing he is safe and well cared for helps. Sometimes visiting and seeing him carry on that she's not his wife, she's an imposter, helps to sink in the new situation.

Blessings to all of you at this time. Please try to find some peace with this.

[cassiesmom]

Gayle, I am so sorry to hear about your dad and his newly diagnosed condition. I can only imagine how hard this is for you and the rest of your family. I will definitely be keeping your father, mother, and of course you and your other family members in my thoughts and prayers. We love you and we are here for you, Gayle!

I'm just checking in again for an update. I'll continue praying. Couldn't agree more with what Lab Lover has written.

[cassiesmom]

My counsellor suggested I phone the doctor. But that plan's on hold for right now. My mom had a call from dad's social worker yesterday and is on her way to the hospital right now to take him some clothes and to see the social worker and doctor, as well as my dad. She's now taking the stance that he cannot come home if he's not medicated. She is not willing to take responsiblity for his actions. He is refusing meds. His first hearing time has been moved and won't now be until September 1st (ironically that's his 72nd birthday).

Oh boy, this is continuing to be a difficult situation. I'll keep praying.

[Queen of Poop]

So my mom made the trek yesterday. She saw my dad and his doctor. Dad is in a sad state, still being tortured by the voices in his head. He is currently refusing all medications. Mom told him he had to take the meds if he wanted to come home, seed planted I hope.

Mom had a good talk with the Doctor and is feeling better about things now. She said she was quite firm in not wanting dad back until and unless he was on meds, they were working and he was willing to take them reliably. The doctor is working on building trust with my dad and wants to get him onto low dose meds first and take it from there. This promises to be a long process.

I have to say I'm really proud of my mom and how she is handling this whole awful situation. She's alot stronger than I gave her credit for and is really forward thinking about things like who/how to get their acreage lawn cut, winter snow removal and the like. I'll be going to spend the September long weekend with her and we'll address any issues she might have in getting set for winter there by herself.

[Freedom]

I have to say I'm really proud of my mom and how she is handling this whole awful situation. She's alot stronger than I gave her credit for and is really forward thinking about things like who/how to get their acreage lawn cut, winter snow removal and the like. I'll be going to spend the September long weekend with her and we'll address any issues she might have in getting set for winter there by herself.

Hey, good for Gayle's Mom! Can't be easy . . . doing stuff often helps us get through the tough times . . . she's getting things in order, that is great.