My dad's lost his mind.....here we go again

[momcat]

Hi Gayle,
You're absolutely right, do talk to your counselor about your Dad's situation. It bothers me that his doctor seemed unphased by all of this. Maybe your counselor can offer a referral to another doctor for a second opinion and also give you some insight as to what's happening. You might want to ask your counselor what questions you should be asking and what answers you should expect.

My father had advanced Alzheimers so I understand what you and your Mom are going through right now. Don't hesitate to pm me if there's anything I can offer you from my experience.

Please know that my support and prayers continue for you, your Mom, and your Dad. Sending [[[[[HUGS]]]]] to you and your Mom

[Catty1]

The doctor may seem unphased because he is very familiar with this kind of behaviour. It's friends and family's duty to be worried and upset - the doctor can't be if s/he is the decision maker.

By all means talk to your counsellor and even your own doctor.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

[jennielynn1970]

Gosh, this is so unsettling to say the least. I hope the doctors decide to keep him there and get him treated for whatever is going on. I mean, hearing voices in your head is NOT just a mood swing. I'll show them a mood swing, lol.

Thoughts and prayers going out to you and your mom and dad. I hope they make the right decision at the hospital, and if not, I hope you can get it taken care of some other way so that he doesn't hurt anyone else or himself.


HUGS!!!!

[Malibu's Mom]

I don't know about hearing voices in your head, but I know dementia can cause delusions. My grandma has them occasionally. I have no idea what the heck "mood swings" is supposed to mean? He thinks that your dad is bipolar? Sounds like the doctor doesn't know what he's talking about. If you can find another doctor, I would.

I really hope that he can be diagnosed soon. Still sending prayers and love to your dad, you & your mom.

[Freedom]

but the voices in his head told him she had been there. .... He clearly has issues and is in the best place he can be for them.

I had to explain to my mom how to pump gas last night though. She's 70 and never had to do it herself, dad always did it. Hopefully she was successful.

My mom had a conversation with the doctor evaluating my dad. He feels sorry for him, says he's suffering, has "mood" swings. Really dude, where'd you get your degree, a cereal box. The man says "they" shine lasers in his eyes, he has 3 voices in his head and he has mood swings!!! He was crawling on his belly with a GUN!!! It would seem they're going to decide to ship him home next week, they have Thursday "hearings" to determine who stays and who goes. Who's going to be responsible if this idiot lets my dad out and he hurts or kills someone! OMG I am so angry, disappointed, upset!!! He has rights and can't be forced to take medication. I had hopes they could actually help him.

Gayle, is this what the doc told YOU, or how your Mum described it?

I've been through similar w/ a close family member (not my Dad). Just because they have periodic hearings -- which is proper procedure and the law here in USA -- does NOT mean they are releasing him. Just now, if I understand it, your Dad has been involuntarily held, as an emergency case. They've had time to evaluate him, and mean time the law says now time to see if he can be released. To me, the fact that the Doc said he is suffering, has mood swings, etc. means they have found reason to hold your Dad.

Apparently they've ID'd a med they want to try and your Dad doesn't want to take it. That is every person's right -- and again, a person who is a danger to himself and / or others who won't take their meds WILL NOT be released.

Much as it is a worry to your Mum having the phone calls, that is all evidence that adds up to why, at the hearing, the medical folks will advise keeping him.

Prayers continue for all of you.

[Queen of Poop]

My counsellor suggested I phone the doctor. But that plan's on hold for right now. My mom had a call from dad's social worker yesterday and is on her way to the hospital right now to take him some clothes and to see the social worker and doctor, as well as my dad. She's now taking the stance that he cannot come home if he's not medicated. She is not willing to take responsiblity for his actions. He is refusing meds. His first hearing time has been moved and won't now be until September 1st (ironically that's his 72nd birthday).

[Karen]

He is refusing meds. His first hearing time has been moved and won't now be until September 1st (ironically that's his 72nd birthday).

I am glad they moved the hearing back. I hope someone can get to the root of what's causing this, but at least you and your mom can rest a bit easier for now.

[Freedom]

She's now taking the stance that he cannot come home if he's not medicated. She is not willing to take responsiblity for his actions. He is refusing meds.

I wonder if they have a diagnosis, yet?

Some mental illnesses, the illness itself prevents the person taking meds. Schizophrenia is one of those - the person so believes they are all right and the world it out to get them, that they won't take meds. Folks with that diagnosis, in general, have a very low success rate at taking their meds. Too bad as, on the meds, they are often high functioning.

The Social Worker is doing her job. Again, hugs all around (yes, even to your Dad, as this is the illness talking, not the man you and your mom have known for years).

[Catty1]

Freedom - thanks for saying it is the illness talking. So true.

Gayle, I hope your mom taking a stand about your dad not coming home unless he is on medication sets him straight about that. It must be really hard for her - even though she had such a terrifying time.

More prayers for all of you.

[beeniesmom]

Some mental illnesses, the illness itself prevents the person taking meds. Schizophrenia is one of those - the person so believes they are all right and the world it out to get them, that they won't take meds.

I was very close with a person who had a 'schizophrenic episode', as the doctors called it. It's more common in men then women.
He spent some time in a hospital and was able to go home after a few months. I don't rememebr what medication they gave him, but it took many months for his 'voices' and hallucinations to go away. It was all so sudden. We were good friends and saw each other every day. It happened one day before mass started in church of all places; he just got up, ran to the alter and started saying he was Jesus Christ and that he had to save everyone. My friend and I thought he was joking around at first and were quite embarrassed... but he was very serious. We had to drag him off and took him home. When his unstable behaviour continued, his parents took him to the hospital. They never found out what happened to trigger the behavior. It's been years since I've seen or heard from him (since getting married). The last I heard he had just gotten married himself and was leading a normal life.
I hope things resolve themselves with your dad. It's very hard to see a loved one go through this. hugs

[cassiesmom]

My counsellor suggested I phone the doctor. But that plan's on hold for right now. My mom had a call from dad's social worker yesterday and is on her way to the hospital right now to take him some clothes and to see the social worker and doctor, as well as my dad. She's now taking the stance that he cannot come home if he's not medicated. She is not willing to take responsiblity for his actions. He is refusing meds. His first hearing time has been moved and won't now be until September 1st (ironically that's his 72nd birthday).

Oh boy, this is continuing to be a difficult situation. I'll keep praying.

[Queen of Poop]

So my mom made the trek yesterday. She saw my dad and his doctor. Dad is in a sad state, still being tortured by the voices in his head. He is currently refusing all medications. Mom told him he had to take the meds if he wanted to come home, seed planted I hope.

Mom had a good talk with the Doctor and is feeling better about things now. She said she was quite firm in not wanting dad back until and unless he was on meds, they were working and he was willing to take them reliably. The doctor is working on building trust with my dad and wants to get him onto low dose meds first and take it from there. This promises to be a long process.

I have to say I'm really proud of my mom and how she is handling this whole awful situation. She's alot stronger than I gave her credit for and is really forward thinking about things like who/how to get their acreage lawn cut, winter snow removal and the like. I'll be going to spend the September long weekend with her and we'll address any issues she might have in getting set for winter there by herself.