Our PT joke thread

[Catty1]

[wombat2u2004]

THIS OUGHT TO MAKE ALL GRANDPAS FEEL WARM & FUZZY



A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa.

When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa's room ..."Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"

"What?" said her Grandpa.

"Make a noise like a frog - because Grandma said that as soon as you croak, we’re all going to Disney Land !!!

[lizbud]

Stories about children and their views of the world are always touching.


A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he
reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.

Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.


He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.
He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.


'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked. 'They're mating,' her father replied.

'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked. A Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered. 'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, 'No dear.Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.' The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped them flat.

'Well", she said, "that may be OK in California, but we're not having any of that **** in Texas."

[wombat2u2004]

While creating Husbands, God promised Women that good and ideal Husbands
would be found in all corners of the world.



``And then he made the earth round``.

[Catty1]

Posted by Husky Mom on Facebook:

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a. m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, "I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body." The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replies, "That would be my wife."

[Grace]

At a wedding party recently someone yelled -

"All the married men please stand next to the
one person who has made your life worth living."

The bartender was crushed to death . . . !!!

[wombat2u2004]

The plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese.
It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese..'

'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, 'why not?'

'You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that's why!'

'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.'

'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese....doesn't matter, you're all alike!'

There's a few minutes of silence.

'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces.

'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.

'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.

'What? You're insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!'

Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , ..no mattah...all same