Honest advice needed

[Karen]

What she is doing is sexual harassment. Contact your company's HR manager, or your boss, whomever is in a position to do something about it.

[Catty1]

Since he is the person being sexually harrassed, he should report it. That gets you out of the middle.

[lvpets2002]

What is this women's problem!! Didnt you say she is getting married in July.. I would tell this woman's soon to be husband about what she is doing && yes then tell your boss too about her sexual comments.. Crazy Lady for sure..

[pomtzu]

Since you say that she is new, it would be my guess that she is trying to make friends, tho she obviously is going about it in the wrong way. Seems it should be Bill, and not you, that needs to take action and just tell her outright, that he doesn't appreciate or want her unsolicited advances/attention. If it hurts her feelings - oh well.
And since this is a small office, and everyone seems to know everyone else, I seriously doubt that anyone would believe any rumors or lies she might want to spread about Bill. Afterall, she is the newbie, and anyone that knows Bill, would know that they aren't true - correct?

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Whenever she starts up, bring up her fiancee. Ask about him and what he's like. Ask about her upcoming wedding and things like that. Keep reminding her she is not available and neither you or Bill are interested in anything beyond office friendship. Be polite but don't encourage her by asking her to lunch with you or go any where else with you.

There was lots of trouble with the office I used to work at when people wanted to be friends outside of work. People told things about others that was no one's business. (and even made things up) I since made it a policy to be nice and friendly to people I work with but after hours are off limits. I was there to work not socialize. It kept my life a lot simpler.

Oh, and if Bill is married or has someone special in his life, he should talk about them ad naseum when she is around.

[Marigold2]

Thank you for the excellent advice.
I will do just that, ask about her fiancee and I will give Bill the same advice.
We want as little as possible to do with her and hopefully she will not stay too long.
Thank you again.

Whenever she starts up, bring up her fiancee. Ask about him and what he's like. Ask about her upcoming wedding and things like that. Keep reminding her she is not available and neither you or Bill are interested in anything beyond office friendship. Be polite but don't encourage her by asking her to lunch with you or go any where else with you.

There was lots of trouble with the office I used to work at when people wanted to be friends outside of work. People told things about others that was no one's business. (and even made things up) I since made it a policy to be nice and friendly to people I work with but after hours are off limits. I was there to work not socialize. It kept my life a lot simpler.

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Oh, and if she brings up sex, just ignore her like you don't hear her and change the subject. If she asks why, tell her what I do, I think people's sex lives are no ones business but their own and am not interested in hearing about them.

[Marigold2]

Bill is very aware the this is the case but it's small company and he can handle it, he puts her in her place very tactfully. But yes it is a dirty thing isn't it. I don't think men like to report this even if it was a bigger company and he could be transford. Inless the women is a toad or something I think men usually would see this as a good thing, I know it is wrong but that is the way a lot of men think.
Bill is not one of them. He is a nice man but more important in this case I think he is very good looking and he has had this happen in the past. I see how women look at him when we have gone out together. They look at him, they look at me and look puzzled. LOL Like what is SHE doing with him. LOL I went to a wholesale club with him, he asked if he could go since I have the membership and he wanted it get somethings, I said sure. So there we are shopping like a couple and yes women were eyeing him left and right.

As I said he dates 30 year old women who look like they stepped out of a Victoria's Secret ad.
I can see why. And there he is with me, 52 and chubby grocery shopping. No wonder women wanted to know what the heck was going on. Ah well. That is why we can be such good friends because there is nothing going on. It is great.

Our real problem is lunch. We work really hard and we look forward to our time to eat and relax. Somedays we pull 12 hours and that lunch time is so needed. I think it is just sad that we have to try and hide or change or plans to avoid her. There are other people who sometimes join us or we see other people at different tables and say "hello, how are you"?
Perhaps as the wedding draws closer she will leave Bill alone.
I don't know if she will ever learn to be nice and play well with others however.
We are a close tight bunch and then BANG it came trouble. Oh well such is life.
Thank you everyone for your advice and time. I truly appreciate it.
Wom you silly man. You can come and take her any time back to your homeland it would be a blessings.

Since he is the person being sexually harrassed, he should report it. That gets you out of the middle.

[wombat2u2004]

Wom you silly man. You can come and take her any time back to your homeland it would be a blessings.

No way mate, there's plenty of those good-time girls here already.
I'd rather just sit here and imagine you three at lunch time, with her drooling all over the table....hee hee.
Anyway Monica, my original advice on the matter was the result of some very deep thinking on my part. I thought at the time..... "Is she really bothering him ??" or "Is he just shy but really needs to practice ???" I of course, after much deleberation chose the latter.

[cassiesmom]

She makes very sexual comments, goes up very close to smell him, picks lint off of him, stands too close, and it makes working difficult because there are not very many of us and we do have to work together all day long.

This feels to me like it's teetering on the brink of a hostile work environment.

The other thing I thought of is - don't let her be alone with him (within reason, of course), so that she can't falsely accuse him of anything. Any time they're chatting, someone else is observing (or at least listening). I like the idea of firmly re-directing the conversation to her fiancé when the conversation goes in that direction.

[Marigold2]

Update. Her behavior has gotten worst. Her comments are constent and she spends every minute just staring at this guy.
The other day she tried to rub her girls against him in the hall so she was reported and talked to. His comment to her was, "This is NOT gonna happen".
They are looking to replace her.
Everyone was noticing it even the Dr. He is now watching her behavior very closely.
It is so awkward.
Since he and I get along well the looks she gives me are horrible. She has some serious problems. After all she is suppose to be in love with her man and getting married in July not chasing her co-worker.
We were such a fun and happy group till she came. Hopefully they will find a replacement soon.

[Marigold2]

UPDATE............
Her replacement has been found and she will be out in two weeks. We are all so giddy with happiness.