Screaming dad

[Prairie Purrs]

To this day, my mother thinks she just spanked my sister and me a bit when it was absolutely necessary.

She used to break wooden spoons over our rear ends. I had bruises from my lower back to the backs of my knees. She was still hitting me when I was in my teens. The psychological damage persists to this day--and I'm in my 50s.

Someone who hauls a kid away by the face in public has to be doing worse in private. If he did that to an adult, it would be considered assault and battery. Why is it acceptable if the victim is a child?

I'm a big fan of teaching one's children to behave. But violence is not an acceptable means.

[wombat2u2004]

Wom, for countless millenia people have been raising children incorrectly.

Thousands (if not more) years of practical experience is wrong. The professor in the ivory tower is, of course, more intelligent than all of us.

True.
Actually, I feel pretty bad as a parent for disciplining my children with the palm of my hand when they needed it. (This of course, can only be construed as horrific child abuse by the experts.)
And of course, I will feel fully responsible if one of my daughters does the same to one of my grandchildren. Yes, I will take that shame with me to the grave.

"Positive reinforcement wins out over abuse any day" How profound is that statement ?? I reckon that could be the catchcry for the new millenium.
Of course if the writer is alive long enough to see the results of that statement, they could always say "Well it's not my fault. I only listened to the experts."

I think I'd better phone daughter No.2 tonight, and ask her to switch her doctorate from SIDS research to Child Abuse research. There's gotta be more money in that for her PLUS an honourable position in the ivory tower.

[wombat2u2004]

Part 1:

In the U.S. it can be. If a parent uses force to discipline their child in a public school, we are required to report the incident to child services. Not doing so can result in your teaching license being revoked in South Carolina. We are also required to report when a child tells us there is abuse in the home.

Well yeah, but as they say "The apple rots from the core"

[moosmom]

To this day, my mother thinks she just spanked my sister and me a bit when it was absolutely necessary.

She used to break wooden spoons over our rear ends. I had bruises from my lower back to the backs of my knees. She was still hitting me when I was in my teens. The psychological damage persists to this day--and I'm in my 50s.

Someone who hauls a kid away by the face in public has to be doing worse in private. If he did that to an adult, it would be considered assault and battery. Why is it acceptable if the victim is a child?

I'm a big fan of teaching one's children to behave. But violence is not an acceptable means.

My father's weapon of choice was his belt. And I also suffer to this day with PTSD and other psychological issues because of it. But it also taught me a great lesson that a child should not fear their parents. And that is what I've instilled in my daughter. I have ALWAYS told her she could come to me for ANYTHING, and she always has. She knows that whatever she tells me (even problems with her Dad and stepmom) will stay with me to my grave. That's the kind of bond I have always wanted with my parents but never got. Another addage of my dad's was "Don't do as I do, do as I SAY".

[Cataholic]

I would imagine most of us know the difference between abuse and discipline. And, I think those that seek to twist the words of others are only looking to assuage their own guilt. Or, are drunk, as I have presumed in the past.

LH- you seem to be taking this differently than I would have expected. I can't imagine you take a foreign object to your child, in the name of "discipline". Can't imagine it. While the drunk seems to blur the line between abuse and discipline- I can't believe that you do. Not from the years of posts I have seen from you.

Perhaps you struggle with another adult butting into your parenting arena. And, on the surface, I would normally agree with you. BUT, I can't believe you (or your wife) would stand by idly (is that spelled correctly???) if either of you saw a man remove a child from the area- by the child's face. Maybe you wouldn't have intervened....maybe...but, to think you two wouldn't have raised an eyebrow? I don't believe it.

There have always been different ways to parent a child. And, I think all parents are allowed to do so in the way they see fit, as long as it doesn't cross any lines. The lines may be blurry- but, removing a child- by its face- is clearly on one side of it. Maybe the man doesn't do this all the time (we can hope), but the fact remains most of us let our hair down in private.

To hear from others on this board that they still- to this day- suffer from the psychological damage of abuse, and attempt to negate those feelings with "its the best he could do", or "my child turned out fine"- is demeaning, demoralizing and insensitive.

When we know better, we do better.

[Lady's Human]

I don't struggle with another adult butting into parenting. It's very simple, I won't allow it. Someone attempts to correct or advise me on parenting in the manner done by the OP better call the police prior to acting, they're going to need them.

It amazes me that the perfect people on this board still feel fit to judge someone's actions and life from a 10 second snapshot which may or may not have been accurately posted online.

[wombat2u2004]

I don't struggle with another adult butting into parenting. It's very simple, I won't allow it. Someone attempts to correct or advise me on parenting in the manner done by the OP better call the police prior to acting, they're going to need them.

It amazes me that the perfect people on this board still feel fit to judge someone's actions and life from a 10 second snapshot which may or may not have been accurately posted online.

Right on !!!!
Hey, don't ya get kinda sick of these people who think they have some sort of God given right to shove their ideals down ya throat in a shopping centre ?? Isn't there some other way they can save the world ???
I'd like to see a few of them get belted one, for not minding their own business.
Wanna beer ??? May as well. Hee hee.

[Cataholic]

I don't struggle with another adult butting into parenting. It's very simple, I won't allow it. Someone attempts to correct or advise me on parenting in the manner done by the OP better call the police prior to acting, they're going to need them.

It amazes me that the perfect people on this board still feel fit to judge someone's actions and life from a 10 second snapshot which may or may not have been accurately posted online.

If you saw a man beating a child (not saying that is totally representative of what the OP saw), you wouldn't step in? Really? I don't believe that. Take it outside the context of a child. If you saw a man beating his dog, you wouldn't do anything?

I don't see anyone claiming to be perfect people or parents. I do see someone that reacted to what seemed to be a disastrous situation. Sometimes, people do simply react, and think later.

[Lady's Human]

Nowhere is beating mentioned in here.

I defy someone to drag a completely unwilling person ANYWHERE by their face, you'd lose your grip.

Given the OP's penchant for needless drama, (veggie salad, anyone) I also have damned good reason to question whether the scene unfolded as portrayed. Somehow I doubt it.

The comment which truly irritate me are the subsequent comment questioning the parenting skills of the person in question (judging someone's life on a 10 second snapshot) and the whole idea that it's completely fine to interfere with someone's actions as a parent in a public place.

Again, want a confrontation? If the OP had taken those actions with me, the police would have been needed.

[lizbud]

I don't struggle with another adult butting into parenting. It's very simple, I won't allow it. Someone attempts to correct or advise me on parenting in the manner done by the OP better call the police prior to acting, they're going to need them.

Sounds like a threat.

[Lady's Human]

No, trust me, I don't threaten. Should you care to, the mayor has my address when you call the police.

[Cataholic]

LH- although I am especially skilled at smelling out a non-responsive answer, anyone could have called that one.

[Lady's Human]

Cataholic, for starters I doubt there was "abuse".

Someone having a bad day? Likely. That's a far cry from abuse.

I've been asked and I've asked leading questions for years. I'm ignoring the leading part of your question because frankly it's not germane to the OP.

[Cataholic]

I took the OP's recitation of the facts as true.

My questions went more towards the WWLHD type of situation, if in fact, there WAS abuse. I was using a hypothetical. I don't need any answer to my questions, as I already know what you would do if you, in fact, saw abuse.

[Bonny]

Where is that Nanny when we need her? She had some pretty good lessons to teach both the parents & children of the parents.

It goes two ways you know. Naughty kids, Naughty parents, everyone demanding some kind of attention, some kind of respect.

My dad use to say what goes around comes around.