Clams star in popular TV show
Tragedy struck TV's "Sesame Street" Monday when
the neighborly Gordon was killed in an apparent
clam-related police shooting.
Though toxicology test results are still pending,
Gordon apparently was under the influence of
clams bought moments earlier from a dealer whom
witnesses identified only as Lefty the Shifty Sales-
man, when he flew into a rage and began strangling
the furry red monster Elmo, said Detective Sherlock
Hemlock of the Sesame Street Police Department's
Clam Squad.
"I guess he'd just had enough of that annoying little
****," said Oscar The Grouch, a resident of Sesame
Street who witnessed the incident. After Cookie
Monster, another resident, called the police, Officers
Biff and Sully arrived on the scene and shot Gordon
eight times. He was pronounced dead moments later.
Although there initially was some dispute over the
number of shots fired, Count Von Count, another
witness, said he was sure there were eight. "I love
to count," he told The Weekly Clam News. "Ah ha ha
ha! Vun! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight!"
Gordon's death echoes that of kindly storekeeper
Mr. Hooper, who was killed in a similar clam-related
incident nearly 20 years ago. Roosevelt Franklin, a
member of the street gang the Purple Clams, was
arrested and charged, and is currently serving a
30-year prison sentence. At the time, Franklin
claimed he had been aiming for Ernie and Bert, two
members of a rival gang. Neither was injured.
Lefty the Shifty Salesman declined comment on the
tragedy, although he did ask TCWN reporters if they
would like to buy an "8."
Big Bird, another resident of the street, said the show
will make reference to the tragedy in an effort to help
inner-city children cope with clam violence in their own
neighborhoods.
"Crime, crack and clams all start with C," he said.
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