Hmmm - well I was going to keep my mouth shut (for a change) on this one, but I see that Asiel has the guts to speak up with an opposing opinion, so guess I will too. Maybe it's that she and I are truly among the older folks here, and have had a chance to mellow more in our old age, and view things somewhat differently than the "less senior" folks. So for what it's worth - here goes.

I don't agree with what Cindy is doing - "buying" the kids, but they are adults and should surely be able to put an end to this. They just continue to enable Cindy to do what she's doing. How difficult is it to say "no thank you"? It seems the time is long overdue for both kids to do just that.

As far as Ashley wanting to invite her mother to the wedding - she absolutely should - and yes it is the right thing to do. This is her mother, in spite of the fact that they've really had no relationship for many years. Maybe with Ashley extending the olive branch, it will open up possibilities for future contact. Then again - maybe not.

When my son and DIL were planning their wedding (2nd for both) several years ago, the same thing was an issue with DIL. Her biological parents divorced and it was decided that she and her brother would live with the father and his new wife, since mother and new husband who was in the Air Force, would be relocating rather frequently, and they all wanted "roots" for the kids. Well it seems that father's new wife was really an evil stepmother - very hateful and domineering - everything for her kids and nothing for his - and he was "kitty" whipped and just went along with whatever she said and did. My DIL absolutely despised this woman, and in turn, came to feel deep resentment toward her father. Once she finished school, she moved out on her own, just to get out of the hostile environment she had lived in for many years, and severed all ties with them.

Fast forward to the wedding plans. DIL in no way wanted her father and stepmother at the wedding - she was adamant about it. I had my own view, but said nothing. It was DIL's own mother, that after much discussion, finally convinced her to invite father and stepmother - as yes - it was the right thing to do - in spite of the hurt and hostility that DIL harbored. She finally relented and said she would invite them to the wedding, but not the reception, and again, her mother convinced her to invite them to both. So the invitation went out, and DIL fully expected that they would be a no-show. Well - they showed. Everything went well and everyone was cordial and pleasant to one another, and the whole day was enjoyable for everyone. Everyone was able to put aside their differences for a few hours, and DIL can now never perhaps regret that she left her father out of a very important day in her life, in spite of the treatment she received while growing up with them.

So did this open up avenues of reconciliation??? - unfortunately not. There was some interaction between them, but for a very short time before it all broke down again. But............DIL tried her best at her mother's urging and not sorry that she did. Stepmother didn't want her in any way to be back as part of "her" family, so that put a final end to it all. Maybe some day DIL's father will realize just how much he has lost.

So in my opinion, Ashley should not let this opportunity to perhaps reunite with her mother, pass her by.