All I can say is this is a wedding so choose your battles wisely. Things said or done on this occasion will be remembered forever and could lead to much unhappiness for many including the bride.

IMO since this is Ashley's wedding her decisions and choices should be respected and accepted with no ill feelings. I don't think it's her fiance's place to make important decisions that concern Ashley's feeling's, she's a mature woman who can think for herself and overiding her decisions could cause discord after the honeymoon is over.
If Ashley feels she wants to invite her biological mother to her wedding I would certainly respect that wish. Maybe she's always had a yearning for her mother but pretended she didn't care because she felt rejected, after thinking it over she might have decided it would make her wedding complete to have her mother attend. It's never too late to mend bridges.

As for Cindy, what she wants to do with her money is entirely up to her. The kids are all old enough to say NO if they don't want to accept a gift or money from her. If they feel pressured into owing then they are free to refuse any gift and walk away. After all, nobody can take advantage of anyone unless you let them. Sounds like the son is more than willing to take without guilty feelings since he is making no effort to stand on his own two feet.

This is Ashley's big day , I think everyone owes it to her to see that her dream wedding doesn't dissolve into a battlefield with casualties strewn all over, stuff like that is never forgotten and can only serve to make for an unpleasant day. Remember that when you throw mud it has a way of flying back in your face.
Pettiness and ill feelings have no place at a wedding .