This is how Dougs mom is. She will do one thing for him in a year or two and even after he pays her back 3 times over it is still held over his head. Owe Me types drive me nuts. I really don't have much advice other then for you to put up healthy boundaries and teach your children that when some one gives them a gift(unless stated as a loan, or a contract to be paid back) that they owe that person nothing. A gift is suppose to have no strings attached. Also explain to them about boundaries and Owe Me types. That no matter what they do they will never be done oweing them in that persons mind.

This is her day to be celebrated with the people who have supported her in getting to this point in life. That simple.

I can see why you would rather have the SIL out of your life. Since we changed our number and stopped going to darts(so no more contact) we finally have no more drama going on. We haven't smiled or laughed this much in a long time. I pray that you can get to the same kind of peace concerning her.