My divorce is going to court...Update Mar 11

[Queen of Poop]

QoP- I am always happy to answer, privately, any questions you might have. I have reason to believe the litigation process is similar in the US and Canada. Not identical, but similar.

Litigation is in stages. First is the pleading stage- Complaint (or Petition), Answer, Cross claims (if applicable). Everyone is setting up their case- in very broad, and yet to be proven- terms.

After the pleading stage, the litigation moves into the discovery process. As someone pointed out, it does mean to 'discover' what opposing parties cases are about. I believe that Canada is an 'adverserial' system, like the US, but doesn't allow 'trial by ambush' (I think GB allows that). So, when the parties go to trial, everyone knows what everyone intends to introduce as evidence. They get that information in the discovery process. Generally, the discovery process starts with written discovery, called interrogatories (questions) and request for production of documents. In a divorce case, the documents would prolly be the focus- pay stubs, last years earnings record, debts, assets, mortgage amount on house, etc.

After written discovery, most of the time it moves into depositions. I think you meant you are going to be [I]deposed[I] in your original post. That is the time where you are placed under oath/affirmation, and the other attorney gets to ask you questions, and you provide answers. Then your attorney does the same thing. 6 hours seems super, duper long. BUT, I always tell people I am the fastest depo taker in the universe. I don't ask those usual questions, the ones I don't really care about. I have had clients deposed, for personal injury lawsuits in which the other attorney talks about their entire education....I mean all the way back. Whatever for, I don't know.

So, you are probably being deposed, and your attorney would be able to guide you in this process. I normally prep my people an hour or two, plus send them home with some light reading material about the general dos and don'ts. I am in no way saying your attorney should do this, that what I do is better, etc. I am not providing you legal advice, I am not licensed to practice outside my own state, this does not constitute a legal relationship, etc. Just some general, basic comments on the litigation process.

My lawyer called it discovery, but you're description of deposed is right on to what is going to be done. My lawyer told me to chill and we will go thru it all in early January to be ready for the 24th. However, I over-think and over-stress over EVERYTHING. And thought if I could get an earlier idea I wouldn't make my IBS any worse with the additional stress. The worst part for me really is that he will be in the room. Thank you so much for your explanation.

[NicoleLJ]

My lawyer called it discovery, but you're description of deposed is right on to what is going to be done. My lawyer told me to chill and we will go thru it all in early January to be ready for the 24th. However, I over-think and over-stress over EVERYTHING. And thought if I could get an earlier idea I wouldn't make my IBS any worse with the additional stress. The worst part for me really is that he will be in the room. Thank you so much for your explanation.

Remember one thing. You are strong. You survived and that proves you are strong. You are intelligent and capable. You can do this and face him because you are all of those things.

[K9karen]

I was deposed with my dog bite case. The dog owner was there with his lawyer also. I just told the truth as I remembered. My lawyer prepped me also, reminded me to say "yes" or "no" and DON'T speak unless asked a question. No head nods. I convinced myself to stay strong. It was emotional. There were times I wanted to cry or interrupt the defendant, but of course I didn't. I sat at a huge table and was able to squeeze my lawyer's thigh under the table, (really) when I felt myself starting to spaz. (I had to call his wife and explain his bruises!!! )

I'm like you, I worry. Take a deep breath. Your "ex" won't be able to talk back to you. You'll be fine. I looked at it as "what right is right and justice will prevail". And it did. HUGS

[Alysser]

Love,
Alyssa & Mikey

[krazyaboutkatz]

I hope that everything will go well. Good luck.

[Queen of Poop]

Love,
Alyssa & Mikey

Awwwww, can I print this? I'll keep it with me during the "ordeal". You two are so awesome!!!!

[Alysser]

Awwwww, can I print this? I'll keep it with me during the "ordeal". You two are so awesome!!!!

Of course, hey if I can help in anyway and this is it I say go for it. We got your back, and by "we" - I mean the whole forum.

[rosethecopycat]

My thoughts will be with you.

I am so thankful that I 'got out' so cleanly. (It wasn't me who wanted out though- to clarify)

I hope all of our dear PT friends realize all the struggles we are still facing, even one year later. It has so many facets, emotional, psychological, financial, legal.
It is just draining.

All the best Gayle.