Christofur

[kitten645]

RIP Christofur. You are loved. Furever.

[emily_the_spoiled]

I am so sorry to read about Christofur. I know it was a difficult decision for you, but now he is happy and healthy running around the RB. He will continue to watch over you until the time you meet again...

[Laura's Babies]

I suppose she'll respond with another tirade, but at least I feel a little better now

I saw this yesterday and was crying to hard to respond. I was heartbroken. I came back last night and read about Christine and got to mad to respond.

If she responds with another tirade, I would send one right back to her reminding her I had asked her not once, but several times and it was HER choice not to give you the information you NEEDED, VERY IMPORTANT information so that you could properly help him and make the wisest decisions about his care and treatment. Instead she left you to think these seizures were sudden and new, you and the vet had tried everything and BASED on the the INFORMATION you and the vet HAD, you had to make a choice. Without his medication, what did she think was going to happen? He was doomed the day she sent him away and I sure would tell her that!

I also want to know WHY she only divulged that IMPORTANT information (that you had asked for before) AFTER it no longer could do him any good, only admitted he had seizures with her and the medication he was on and how much when it was to late. That sends me a clear message. YOU were her scape goat, you were conned and you were USED!


There should have been a full and complete medical history sent along with him and the fact that it seems like she was trying to hide it, I have to ask WHY?! She was not honest with you about his full condition when his LIFE depended on you having that information!

It sounds to me like she knew this was coming and she didn't want to be the one to have to do it so she dumped that job on who ever would take him. This whole thing smells fishy to me, extremely fishy!

I would dump every bit of that guilt she is trying to lay on you, right back in HER lap in the hottest email she ever saw. Quit letting her make you feel bad for doing the only thing you could because she choose to keep very important information from you. I would tell her that is the last email she will get from you and anymore she sends you will be deleted without being read that she is not worthy of your time and trouble after how she scammed you!

I would be SO DARN MAD at her!!! I say let this be a lesson to everybody to make sure they get all the records from the vets before accepting another baby into their life that you know nothing about.

[astrid]

I'm so sorry little Christofur had to go... You did everything you could and gave him TLC all the time he was with you, he knows it and that's what really matters.
God bless you and yours.

RIP little Christofur

[Medusa]

I have been crying all day about him, about how much I miss him and how sweet a little guy he was (IS) and deserved better, and should I have held on a little longer to see if anyone else I knew might have some other suggestions?

I am so lonely and heartbroken. It's nice to think that he's whole and healthy and waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge, but when it really comes down to it, I don't know if I really believe that will happen.. I fear it's more that all we have is this life and if we blow it here, we have no way to make things better or right again. And this innocent little creature had to suffer so.

This really got to me, Pat, b/c it's exactly how I feel about helping Boo to the Bridge yesterday. I held on to Puddy far too long and I didn't want to make that mistake w/Boo. When Dr. Lee told me that it was difficult to maintain a normal body temperature once a cat gets so old and that I would have to figure out how to do it daily, I felt that I owed him better than to be going through treatments day after day. He slept on a heating pad for 24 hours and still his temperature never went above 97. My cat sitter is a vet tech and she told me that once a cat's temperature drops to 97 s/he's shutting down and that I only helped him to the Bridge. After a full day and night of crying I think I'm finally accepting this. I do hope that you will accept it, too. You did what you felt was right in your heart, so did I, and no one can fault us for it. We did what we did out of love and not for expediency. The person who is attacking you now has no conscience. She sees that you're in emotional pain and she adds to it. I think that Christofur was better off w/you no matter how brief a period of time. What she is doing to you is cruel and it's her own guilt that she's dealing with poorly and she's transferring it to you.

[Medusa]

Another thought: we hear "quality of life over quantity" a lot as it applies to whether or not to euthanize but when it comes right down to it and the decision is ours and ours alone to make, suddenly we're barraged w/people trying to make us feel guilty. It's evident that they don't really mean "quality of life over quantity" at all. They parrot someone else's words b/c it makes them feel wise but it's doubtful that they even have an original thought on the subject. Don't allow it, Pat. Your decision was made out of love, a decision that could only have been made based on the amount of information that you had at that time. This makes me angrier by the minute that someone would be so cruel to you. We all say that we don't judge but we do. Indeed we do.

[Randi]

Pat, I'm so sorry about Chistofur, but you did everything you could based on the information you had and I'm sure he could feel your love. It was the right decision to let him go instead of suffering more seizures.

Christofur is free of pain, may he rest in peace!

(((hugs)))

[cassiesmom]

I have been crying all day about him, about how much I miss him and how sweet a little guy he was (IS) and deserved better, and should I have held on a little longer to see if anyone else I knew might have some other suggestions?

I am so lonely and heartbroken. It's nice to think that he's whole and healthy and waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge, but when it really comes down to it, I don't know if I really believe that will happen.. I fear it's more that all we have is this life and if we blow it here, we have no way to make things better or right again. And this innocent little creature had to suffer so.

Oh, yes it will. He will be on the Bridge purring and waiting for you and all of us, One Fine Day. He was just more medically complex than you thought, based upon the information that was provided to you. Give your kitties some hugs, snuggles and lovies. I wish you peace of mind and heart, Phesina. ((((BIG HUGS))))

[phesina]

Thank you so much, dear friends.

I still feel so guilty today. I realized today that the reason isn't even that I let him go but that I made the decision alone. I should have called up at least a couple of the people (in Texas and New York and wherever) who encouraged me to get him in the first place and run by what was happening with THEM and see if they had any further suggestions that might keep him going for at least a little while longer..

Or that they might have seen that his condition really was this bad and to realize that what with the rolling cluster seizures even after a day of monitoring and medicating that maybe it was the right thing to let him go now.

Or I should have called CHRISTINE when I didn't get a straight answer about vet care or not for his seizures.. Although it is really hard to deal with her on the phone, she often gets hysterical and won't let you get a word or a thought in edgewise. Which is what she has been doing with her recent e-mails, she's grieving little Christofur too and not accepting her hand in the situation and lashing out in all directions.

I acted out of fear.. fear that he would come home with me and then suffer needlessly because this would happen again.

I have done that too much all my life, made big decisions out of fear, not backing off a bit and making myself consider all the aspects. You would think that by age 66 I would have figured this out, but no it's still underneath so much of my life.

I can't forgive myself for this.

I miss him so much.. today I returned the items to Pet Supplies Plus that I'd gotten for taking care of him, and it made me so sad to remind myself WHY those items are no longer needed.

I am so sorry, little Christofur. You deserved better, so much better.

Pat

[Medusa]

Shoulda, coulda, woulda, Pat. I still say that you made the decision out of love. Yes, you were fearful; who wouldn't be? You were dealing w/a life here! I, too, was afraid that I'd put Boo through all that again, then bring him home and find that the process didn't even last another 24 hours, just like the last one. That kind of fear is good fear, IMO. We saved them from a painful, drawn out death. Who dares to fault us for that? The fact of the matter is that you were there ALONE w/Christofur, having to make the decision ALONE. Had you called all or any of the others that you mentioned, you more than likely would've been confused and then you would've beaten yourself up for making the decision while confused. Pat, stop being so hard on yourself. Christofur is now at peace, a peace that he never, ever knew since he was born. Your decision was the supreme act of kindness to him, the last kindness that anyone could've done for him and that person was you. Miss him, sure. It would be strange if you didn't. Blame yourself, never. The heavy responsibility that you had to bear was yours alone and you handled it well.

[catmandu]

There sadly was nothing that could be done for Christofur , Pat.
Sadly some of us are predestined to have a short life , and you saved Christofur from dying in pain and fear, and let him become an Angels in a peaceful way.
I would put this Christine on spam and not let her bother you anymore.
There are always people who are so eager to blame, but not help.
Christofur is with The Found and Porch Angels this week, and then evvery week he will join a different band of Awesome Angels at home and in their Towns and Cities, and you and Your Cats will all unite with Christofur in love.
One Fine Day.

[phesina]

Thank you, Mary and Gary. I know I can be very harsh on myself, but it's hard not to with something like this.. how i was brought up or something..

One of my "handicapped and CH pets" friends, Mari, whom I should have called just called me.. from Texas... She gave me her condolences, said she was so sorry I'd lost my little boy like that. And she said she had wanted to write me but couldn't because she was so angry about the things Christine was saying.. so she decided to call. And she also talked with MC, one of the other HP-CH peoplee (who lives in upstate NY), whose computer it turns out has been on the fritz the last few days, and she updated HER.. and MC also said Christine was outrageous and to give me her love and condolences.

So I feel a little better now. I had been feeling all alone, that I'd totally blown it on this, and that these people no longer liked me or respected me either. She told me that is not true, and she also reassured me that Christofur is out there somewhere waiting for me, and he will send me a "letter" a message to remind me he's still with me.. and someday he'll send along another little needy critter for me to care for.

Thank you again, everyone.

Pat

[phesina]

I got Christofur's ashes back today, along with a little ceramic piece with his paw print on it.

I miss and grieve the dear little guy so much!

[Medusa]

You'll always miss him but the time will come when you'll be able to think of him and smile instead of cry. Keep the faythe, Pat.

[phesina]

Thank you, Mary. I so much wish I hadn't let him go so abruptly.