September 20th, 2010... the day my world crumbled apart..

[anna_66]

I wanna thank Anna_66... thank you for the lovely card thank you so much..

also I got a lil wall hanging "poem" from a relative.. posted it on the blog..

today I did have a nice cry... reading both of these made me "let it out" some.. thanks..

You are so very welcome. I'm glad to have helped even just a bit.
(((HUGS)))

[wanwan1007]

Isabel,

Sending much love and prayers your way. Have you picked a name for your daughter?

[Husky_mom]

thanks to Pembroke_corgi... we got a lovely package with baby stuff.. will post pics once I take/upload some.. thank you so much also for the card.. ((hugs))...

I´ve been ok... having ups and downs.. especially while in the shower.. not sure why.. but I´ve managed to get by one day at a time... still have a lot on my plate to sort out.. but things are coming along... it´s really tough having to deal with this and still have to do tons of paperwork and whatnot.. what a hassle...

I did got the PT book in with the rest of my stuff.. they shipped it over.. I still have a few things to add.. sorry if it´s taking me long.. and it will take an extra 2 weeks to get to whomever goes next (still need the address of who´s next too)..

in regards of my baby´s name.. I think I´ve settled for one name.. I even dreamed about it.. actually dreamed of hubby telling me it was ok... but not sure if it was my subconscious or what..

I would´ve settled for Jordan Ariel.. but he didn´t liked much the Jordan part and i think it wouldn´t be fair to make my will now that he´s gone... so I was debating between Ariel Elizabeth and Ariel Reneé... and was thinking which ones of the list i made would´ve he liked the most...then I had this dream.. and now I´m 98% sure it will be Ariel Samantha... he really liked the name Samantha but we never really agreed on that one.. and being this way.. our baby will have a name we both agreed on and one he really liked... I do like the name Samantha but i didn´t wanted to have our baby named after someone we knew before.. but since the only one we "knew" we never even met and will never will made me go for it a bit stronger... the 2% remaining is because _I´m not sure which should go first.. although I don´t want the names to end/start with the same letter as it would be if Samantha went first..

[sana]

Samantha Ariel is a pretty name and Ariel Rene`e is LOOOVELY! I hope everything goes perfectly fine.

[Karen]

Ariel Samantha is pretty, and I am glad you did get the book amidst all you things! I'll prompt Richard to PM you the address of "who's next" in case he doesn't see this!

[Husky_mom]

I think I´m having some sort of postpartum depression.. only this one is prepartum.. or something like that...

I´m excited about our baby.. but I just don´t feel "as" excited... whenever I see something cute.. or even think about her.. I think about what the hubs might think and cry...and obviously get sad...

I miss his hand rubbing my belly.. and I´m starting to hate people rubbing it.. it´s got to the point it makes me feel uncomfortable...

I also hate when my mom rubs my hand or wants to hug me.. (I know she means good, and while I´ve never been too keen or tolerant to touching, lately it´s started to irritate me even more)...

I´ve lost interest in certain things.. like "why should i bother doing this or that... hubby is no longer here" (gross example.. shaving my legs.. and some other meaningless stuff)..

the kids have been a huge motivator.. but it´s hard not having him around..

and I really thank you all for still being here and keeping us in your thoughts and prayers...believe me you´ve helped me so much already..

[Karen]

Isabel, love, maybe you should find a professional counselor to talk to, someone not related, to help you through this. Hopefully someone you could see while your son is at school, even a clergy person might be helpful, just someone to talk about everything. Your situation is just about as stressful as could be, so getting some help is nothing to be ashamed of.

[dukedogsmom]

I'm so sorry! I haven't been here in a while and am just seeing this. I can't imagine your pain. But you also have a blessing, as well. I agree with Karen. Don't be afraid/ashamed to get some help. You've been through a lot. Would you please PM me with your address? I'd love to make you a card. I'm at a loss as to what else to say because words can only help so much. Just know we're here for you.

[lvpets2002]

I so aggree with Karen.. Honey please do talk to your preist or a professional counselor.. I so wish I could just hugg you & sit with you to listen too.. If I could I would be there in a minute.. Yes can you send PM me your current address so I can send you something.. Also give me your phone # & I can call only if you wish.. Sending Lots more Huggss & Prayers Isabel.. Now just take it all slow & easy..

Isabel, love, maybe you should find a professional counselor to talk to, someone not related, to help you through this. Hopefully someone you could see while your son is at school, even a clergy person might be helpful, just someone to talk about everything. Your situation is just about as stressful as could be, so getting some help is nothing to be ashamed of.

[Freedom]

Isabel, I wish I could just reach through the monitor and across space and give you a heart - felt hug! OH, no wait, you aren't really enjoying being touched and hugged just now, oops, sorry!

I suspect that everything you are feeling is quite appropriate and normal just now. You are in the midst of a hug emotional turmoil, a roller coaster of feelings. And I agree with the others, you may want to consider talking with someone. Having a new baby on thee way, which both of you were so excited about, can only be entwined with the grief. I continue to keep you in my prayers.

[Lilith Cherry]

Lots of love Isabel but no touchy feely stuff until you feel able to stand it ! I am sure it is normal to feel the way you do right now but I also think talking to someone outside your family circle could probnably help relieve some of the stress. You and the the kids are always in our hearts

[Husky_mom]

today marks a month of his passing.. and it ain´t got any easier..

my heart aches just as the first day... I just love him so much... I know he´s in a much better place now.. worry free and pain free...

I´m still on a denial state.. I think.. I just don´t want to make it real.. it just hurts so much as it is...

it´s worse when it´s not expected IMO... we had so much ahead of us.. and now it´s just me... now i have to keep on for our kids.. and it´s no piece of cake..

*can´t type more...can´t see anything anyway.. bbl..*

[Pinot's Mom]

Thoughts and prayer from here, Isabel.

[Karen]

We love you, Isabel. Cry when you must, and know that we will be thinking of you! We are all pulling for you, and the kids!

[phesina]

Love and prayers for you and your family, Isabel.